The big 4-0

Turning 40 soon has had me thinking about a few things lately. One, major one is whether to have another baby. Hmm. I guess this is partly not really entirely just up to me.. So many considerations. But that topic is for another day! For now, I have finally just booked our flights for my BIG (40th) birthday getaway to Melbourne!! I've been contemplating, delaying booking it for many months now but the inevitable date came and Jetstar won't extend my voucher expiry!! It was a choice between the Gold Coast (or Queensland in general) or Melbourne..... And at the very last minute I decided to go Melbourne! Super last minute my voucher was expiring in 10 minutes when I pressed the book and pay button!

So, this has got me excited now. The travel agent in me took out my Victoria (Melbourne) brochure and using my mini lamp browsed through the pages - at half past midnight!! I haven't been this excited in such a long time! I think I made a good decision of choosing Melbourne. The last time I was there was in 2004. Way too long ago!!! Gold Coast we visited a few years ago. And as much as I was imagining a nice beach getaway for my summer birthday.... I didn't just want my birthday to be another beach getaway. We have some good friends and some family to meet up with in Melbourne - which we haven't seen in a super long time! And since we are celebrating "me" I thought might as well do what I want to (as a mum, I always end up sacrificing what I want over what the hubby or the kids want - to do, to eat, to visit, etc). So anyway, prior kids I was a pretty sociable person - I enjoy going out and socialising. I enjoy catching up with friends and family.. I also enjoy a good adventure. So this Melbourne trip will be just that. A bit of both activities which I love. 💖 nbsp="" p="">

Image from Google

School break

I'm super delighted that hubby has taken some time off during this school break so that I can (have 'me' time) do some work (and more research on wampler, check it out at MusiciansFriend.com among other things). So far I have ticked a few from my to do list and hopefully this momentum continues for the next 10 days! I have picked up a new racket from home and I am super excited to get more work from this new supplier. 

On the other hand, I have also scheduled a jam packed couple of weeks for the kids. Some of the ones that excite me are: treasure hunt at the park, winter wonderland festival, pajama party, robotics class, a couple of playdates and a few trips to the library! I am also hoping to spend some time with hubby. It has been a long time since we have gone out on a date. Although nowadays our date means movie nights on the couch - that's pretty much it. Sad. Haha. But really, I guess just to spend time with each other and talk about everything else other than kids is the bonding time we need.

Researcher by nature

All of us have our own quirks and interests and mine is researching. I am in love with the fact that at this day and age I no longer need to head down to the library just to find out about a particular topic. Everything is on the net now! It is scary too in some ways because nowadays anyone can claim they know about a topic (for example shure microphone at guitarcenter.com is not something everyone knows about- at least not me!). Hubby still gets surprised at how much trivia I can come up with. Although we are all for the great things on technology, we are still teaching our kids to visit the library and borrow some books! We are proud library card owners here - something that might be obsolete in the future. So for tonight, I am off to more researching some more. And of course, it is about travel!

Chilly weather

Chilly weather makes me want to sip bottomless hot chocolate under the blanket, while watching my chic flicks (imagining hubby is taking care of the kids, that is!). In reality though, I am researching the trips my clients are going on. At the moment the current 'scheduled' trip is to the USA! So my head space is filled with daydreaming about Waikiki Beach, Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York and Atlanta! So far I have already come up with proposed activities for them to do in Hawaii and California. I am currently working on New York - which is super easy since I love New York. Meanwhile, Atlanta is a little bit more of a challenge. I have been to Atlanta more than a decade ago so I need to do a refresher on the city guide. The family that I am organising the holiday for has teenage kids so I am thinking maybe a visit to a quest room could be an option. I read that quest room Atlanta is pretty popular spot. Nowadays there are mystery or escape rooms propping up in the major cities, but I haven't experienced it first hand so I cannot fully suggest it to clients yet. I have heard that it can get really exciting and engaging so it's a fun activity for a group of friends or family (even colleagues!). I guess there is no other way to find out for myself but try. So I would suggest this to my friends the next time I have someone come over to Sydney!

That time of the year

Summer has whizzed past us too quick, and now we are back into the pre-winter blues (at least for me). Waking up when it is 5 degrees outside is not enticing for a hibernating momma with little cubs to look after. I am already coming up with indoor friendly and cozy winter activities to do with the little ones and/or the hubby. Here are the ones I have come up with so far:

1. Arts and crafts - This is always popular with my girls. I just have to come up with the materials in advance. It is a big plus if the art does not involve messy materials (such as little confetti bits or pudgy glue). And of course a bigger plus if it takes the kids about half an hour to do (and not those easy 5 minute craft things).

2. Play house - This is a great one for the kids to play in their cubby house. Blankets and pillows are alternatives if an actual play house is not available. Sometimes the blankets and pillows make playing even more fun! (Until the pillow topples over too often leaving the younger ones frustrated). Perhaps adding unbreakable items and utensils from the kitchen could add fun to the play! (Having real food to eat with the tea set is a plus!)

3. Make use of technology - This one is good in limited screen time amounts (both for adults and kids). The tablet for watching those funny and entertaining youtube videos. Then for hubby and I we are always on the lookout for adventure movies watch online. As much as I admit I loved going to the local dvd store, this online streaming craze is so convenient! This website is quite handy : https://1movies.online/genre/Adventure. 

4. Old fashioned indoor games and board games- chess (my 7 year old is currently into this!), snakes & ladders, dominoes, Cluedo, Scrabble, etc.

5. Paper based games such as "hangman", dot to dot, word search, origami folding, etc.

School holidays countdown

Finally we are in the last week of the two-week long school holidays! It has been a long week so far and thus the countdown starts now. Luckily we have had an okay weather (some days cloudy - at least not raining!) so we had a few days of park playing. Sometimes I try to keep the kids busy by doing some crafts, playing some music (inspired by musicians friend drums), and other times just letting them be bored. I read an article before that boredom is good for kids because it exercises their imagination. And so I let them be bored once in a while!

Off to get some sleep now, as we have a play date activity tomorrow! Counting down to 5 more days of no school!

Me Time

The past couple of weeks, I've had my much needed (and wanted) me time. The most I've had since a very long time - I don't even remember when the last 'real' one was.

Hopefully I get more of these times so I can refresh myself from my mummy duties and just be me. I have been wanting to tidy up my office space, clean up my clutter, research on  https://www.guitarcenter.com/ as well as just catch up on sleep! I know this special time is important, even if I don't want to (yeah right!). Lately I have been feeling that I am not worth more than the other members of the family - and that what I want is not important. It feels like my waking (and even sleeping!) time is consumed by following my little family's whim. This may sound harsh, but coming from a mum that is on call 24 hours every day - for a long time now - I guess it is pretty real. I am just thankful that now I am able to reclaim a bit of me back.

School prerequisites

The school year has begun and although we haven't been back to Sydney yet I am now collating the requirements for B. I am hoping to buy everything by next week (I am stressing out because she needs a descant recorder! I am hoping that it is available at the same store with the bx13 at Guitar Center). I cannot even imagine how my mom managed buying all these school stuff when there were six of us studying! I have one in school now and I am stressing already. Anyway, I guess I could start buying the easy stuff then look for that recorder when I am back in Sydney.

Thing of the past

So much has happened in the past month that I don't even know where to begin. I've gone back home again to Manila, to spend less than 2 days with mom before she passed. Super sad and at the same time I am relieved that she is no longer in pain. Sometimes these life changing events can be so rattling that life stops. Everything is 're-calibrated' and plans tweaked. One thing that I am trying to find right now is this old fashioned handheld recorder and player because the day after I arrived, my dad handed me a cassette tape and asked if I knew what that was about. I shouted excited a big yes!! I have been missing this tape for at least 15 years. It had recordings of when I was probably a year old, babbling with mom and dad, talking about our cat among other things.I really wish I could get hold of this type of player so I can re-live the past.

When the kids are older

Sometimes I find myself daydreaming about getting my life back - when the kids are older. Although part of me, of course, wants time to stop them from growing up too fast. However, part of me also wants to enjoy them already (and get a bit of me time, too!). At the moment, my time management skills are super messed up, my organising skills are nearly non-existent. The house is usually a mess, my under eyes are the darkest shade ever, hubby sleeps in a different room - while myself and the kids in ours, we can't travel long drives as the little one hates car rides... the list goes on about what a having a young family entails. But I love it in a lot of ways than one. But for now, I am indulging in my daydream. Fast forward to 4 years from now. The little ones in school, and I am back to earning some moolah - contributing to our family funds (oooh and that BIG Trip in 4 years!).

Sometimes I daydream about:

- Having the Christmas tree decors properly put - and stay put for the duration of the holiday period! (at the moment, for the past 6 years - our eldest puts up the decors first - then I put them back up tidy-er).

- Sleeping in!!!! Weekends are a must, and maybe one or two mornings during the week too!
Ok, even just a proper full sleep. My last proper sleep was in 2008!!!!!

- Do my own thing in the toilet and shower - alone - without it being a whole family affair!

- Cooking because I want to, and because I enjoy it - rather than rushing to cook and feed the brood.
Oh, and cooking with both my arms/hands free. (Nowadays, I have a permanent back and side pain coz I carry little L while I cook - while I clean, while I do a LOT of things) (With one hand).

- Just do nothing. And have time to be bored. (Nowadays, I rarely have that quiet 'me' time where I don't have to think of too many things all at once). (I usually rush things because I sneak 'me' time in between the little one's naps)

- Do something uninterrupted.

- Have 'me' time during the day!!! (Nowadays 'me' time happens late at night when the kids are asleep) (I end up falling asleep too on some nights!)

- I want to travel more. With the family. But also, sneak in a getaway with my girlfriends who I haven't seen in ages!

- Make a weekly menu - and stick to it! (Not be too tired midweek to follow through what my menu says)

- Go on a date with hubby. (I am not comfortable leaving our little one with my sister to babysit - until maybe she's about 4 years old).

- Have time to properly groom myself (have time to be meticulous about my face, hair, clothes, etc). Nowadays, this is always rushed - so I only get to do the basics (if I am lucky!).

I am sure I can think of a lot more. For now, these are what comes to mind. One day!

http://www.lamamaonline.com/secondary.asp?id=1110&print=true

Complete.

Complete is such a big word- especially when talking about being "done" with having kids.

I would love to have lots of kids, having come from a large family myself. However, there are a few important reasons which hubby and I think/agree/decide(d) on about having more children. (Note: We both would LOVE to have more, but with the way things are we don't think we will have any more).

(I've just realised now that a lot of my posts recently involve inumerations or lists of some sort - I just love, love, love lists!!) Here are two throw back posts fromlist loving 'me': Bursting with Ideas, and A traveller's check list.

Here are some of the reasons why hubby and I think our family is now complete:

1. We have two lovely girls with us, and a little boy in heaven watching over us. Our two girls have each other and we are beyond thankful that they will grow up with a lifelong friend/each other. As much as I would really love to have them be a part of a bigger sibling friendship..............

2. I am nearly 40 years old, and my body seems like it cannot cope with another pregnancy - having lost our little angel in 2014, having had 3 rather difficult pregnancies and deliveries. To have another pregnancy may not be the safest way.

3. Living overseas without family to help will drive me insane if we have another one. Although this one can really be overridden and only would be extremely difficult on the first year or two. Once the children reach 2 years old it usually is more cruise-y and enjoyable.

4. Serious financial issues must be looked at soon, and having another little one means our 'saving' mode will be delayed. We have decided since having our eldest that we would be the primary carer for our children and not put them in childcare for so many personal reasons. And having reason #3 to add to this situation, we have defaulted to being a one (regular) income family. I do have my business and sidelines, but that is very dependent on season and effort I put in (intentionally or involuntarily-- family comes first obviously).

These are the main reasons which I can think of now, but I am sure there are a few other compelling reasons to make us say our family is now complete. Although. while we were at church yesterday I felt this yearning to try for another boy. I think I saw a little boy seated (or lying on the floor mostly, actually!) and I wondered what it was like to be a parent of a little boy (on earth). They (boys) are a totally different specie to girls is what they say! I mentioned it to hubby but I don't think he felt the same yearning as I did. Although the feeling was real and true, I am set back by the above reasons.... and so I am just focusing on being happy and thankful for our girls.

Tonight, while scrolling on Facebook I came across a lovely page and store (etsy!). Just made me think even more about our family being complete and about my girls growing up as sisters. I myself have 3 sisters and so seeing these artworks put a smile and a tear at the same time.... for so many reasons. (And probably also due to my hormones!!).

Anyway, I came across Heather Stillufsen on Facebook, Blog and on Etsy. I love her work! Here are a few of her works which I find appropriate for this entry!

Photo from Heather Stillufsen's page

Photo from Heather Stillufsen's page

I have this thing for Quora

I have this thing for Quora. I read Q and A's there every now and then and it is quite entertaining and possibly I learn a few things sometimes (whether they are true or not, well, is another thing).

Today while reading I picked this up:
If you don't appreciate your freedom, you don't learn to appreciate (or make) your good decisions.

Those are in my words and my interpretation of what I read. Growing up, I felt I didn't have much freedom. Being the eldest, like a lot of first borns, I was the guinea pig of my parents. They were more overprotective of me when I was young. And as I grew older I felt they didn't really give me much freedom, which my younger siblings had when it was their turn to be a teenager, a young adult, etc. They were stricter with me- which made me a bit more uptight I think as an adult. I was not 'trained' to think that I could make good decisions. Whether this was because of how I was brought up or my personality, I don't know.

So, when I read the Quora answer it kind of struck a chord in me. Perhaps the reason why I sometimes question my decisions (whether I was making the right choice in life) was because I never appreciated my freedom- because I didn't have one before.

When I moved out of home at 25, and moved to a different country- I was seeking freedom. It was the biggest decision I think I would ever make and have made- in my entire life. It was a life changing decision that would pave way for my future life, the future life of my (immediate) family, my kids and the future generation.

Change is happening

For SO long all I wanted was for little miss to have a sibling. I come from a huge family and would have wanted to have a big family too-but I started having kids quite late in my adult life....

After losing our little boy last year I yearned to try for another baby when I was ready and this year it happened. I am now at 37 weeks and ready to pop anytime now! A girl again this time. As much as I miss our little angel- I am still trying to accept the surreal reality that I may actually be bringing home our baby this time. Soon. There are still some raw emotions I think which I will have to deal with when this baby comes out and as much as I am trying to just take things one thing at a time and not overthink it is difficult.

I am wondering what kind of change I would have to go through when we have another addition to the family. Surely lots of changes will happen. And ideally here are some changes I hope to achieve for the best:

*Routine- Having a daughter already start school I have had a bit of a routine going for the family for a while now. This will change and hopefully I would get to incorporate a good new routine eventually while keeping what we already have been doing. Tweaking here and there I guess especially in the beginning.

*Freedom- I've had some freedom for a while now after going on a break from the 'corporate' world in 2014. I know I will encounter a 'shock' of some sort when my recently acquired freedom will cease to exist for another 5 years. Someone will depend on me 24/7 again- clinging to me and depending on me for everything small and big. I will have to activate that extra 'sense' and mother's instinct overdrive again. It's a different extra 'sense' when there is a newborn involved, and a different one with a school age child I think. I need to be 'extra sensitive' again as a mum. If that makes sense.

*Physically- I expect to be more tired (yet again). I will have 3 people to look after, after all! And a house to keep, meals to prepare, etc! I will need to get that extra vitamin boost I think!

*Emotionally- As with all births there is an emotional and hormonal change happening immediately and sometimes not so immediate after delivery. I would have to be open to the change that would follow the physical change happening with the family. New dynamics within our family would take place and learned.

*Time Management- I hope to be able to manage my time better with a new little one. I know the mistakes I have committed when our first was born and hopefully I would have learned how to go about with better this time around! I have to think strategically and think up ways to save me precious time!

*Effort- This would be a big change. If in the past I could wing it here and there, I guess having another little person would mean I would have to be wiser in my efforts and choosing priorities.

*Priorities- Linked with everything above I would have to adjust my mindset and choose my priorities wisely. Obviously it would be good to have some sort of income coming in while I am on leave caring for the new little one, but I should have that same focus when we had our first born where I could anticipate how she was feeling even before she felt it. And I have to be ahead of the game once again.

Oh the life as a parent- as a mum! Always full of challenges, changes and planning involved!

the Balikbayan Route

Today I came across this Facebook Page, the Balikbayan Route and once again I missed Manila noise! There are days I think I would like to live back home again. However hubby reminds me that if we move back we wouldn't have access to what the Aus government can offer. Quality of air isn't good (especially downtown), the lifestyle is different (Manila malls vs Sydney parks). And this is in addition to the other many things to consider..................

Ok, but I tell hubby we will live in the province (if Tagaytay and Cavite is considered one!) to avoid the chaos in Manila but at the same time still be within three (!!) hours drive. Why can't life be simple and have all my loved ones in one country. Let alone one city. Big sigh. Growing up and the facts of life.

At the end of the day, we strive to give the best to our children (current and future) and hope and pray that we are happy with most of our decisions so that the journey of life will be enjoyable. C'est la vie.

Source

Bursting with Ideas

A long time ago my mom told me I was hyperactive, just like my dad who never sits still. I thought to myself that couldn't be. I am very calm, collected and reserved. But I guess, over the years I kind of understood what my mom meant. Like my dad, I am full of ideas, bursting with new thoughts, plans, activities, business ideas, ventures, and the list goes on... forever!

I cannot imagine the life of a person running out of ideas. Sure, I hit a dead end every once in a while. By choice I stop from thinking further, but really I sometimes think I am overflowing with new things to do, accomplish and create.

Source

Sigh. And it is very tiring. Tiring not because the ideas are running out, but tiring because I feel I don't have time to do all of these. I am a thinker. And so as much as I would like to put it all into action, there are only 24 hours in a day. One step at a time, I would like to achieve as much of my ideas into something. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to sleep to avoid running out of time to DO! But of course I need sleep in order to function the next day! As a mum this is important of course for my family to thrive!

I have endless lists. Sometimes creating a list makes me feel good because I am made to believe that I would do this one day. Go through the list and just DO IT. If only I had the time!

So, yes I guess I am a hyperactive thinker. Give me a paper and pen and I can jot a whole note-full of thoughts, doodles, scribbles and ideas. My mum was right after all (aren't they almost always!)

Strangers... are strangers.

Sometimes you wish strangers were a little bit more sensitive. But then again I guess that’s how they are – strangers. They don’t know you. They don’t know your situation, your life, what you are going through and what you’ve been through. Somehow you wish they were just a little bit nicer though. They’re not. And as easy as it is to say “move on”, it’s not any easier done.

I guess with anything and every dealings we have online (or even offline), we put ourselves out there. We open our inner most self and risk something. I chose not to reply back to this certain person and stoop down to their level. I guess I just chose to cut them off and prefer not to deal with them anymore. No need for explanations otherwise I will just put myself out there again.  It’s not like I lost anything. Better finding out now than pursue a business relationship with someone that judgmental. 

My Hotel Rush - Mantra Sale

Next month my little family is scheduled to visit the GC! Gold Coast! It is for work, but it is always too good to combine business with pleasure. Maybe a visit to the Theme Parks (little B and hubby haven't been) and also a visit to family is in order.

I am eyeing the great Mantra Hotel Sale (ends 28 July 2014 by 10 AM!)- and they have a number of Gold Coast properties to choose from!!! Too many to choose from in my opinion (but choice is always welcome!). (This isn't a sponsored post!) I am just always excited to see sales on, especially if it involves nice hotels and a potential trip for me.

I haven't been to the Gold Coast at winter, but I am guessing weather should be nice and warm. Having said that though I am still looking at an indoor pool - just in case it gets cold. Hubby and B could swim while I work. The Mantra Crown Towers it might be - they have both indoor and outdoor heated pools among other things. Hopefully the room is still available when I finalise the trip on the weekend!

From the  Mantra Crown Towers mantra.com.au

From the  Mantra Crown Towers mantra.com.au

High School Life Trapper Keepers

I read somewhere that Trapper Keeper (by Mead) is making a comeback as a Snapper Keeper! This brought memories of my school days.. wanting a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper and finally getting one - since everyone in my class was using this binder to keep class notes in. I remember having this particular one (see below) where I inserted different photos and handwritten notes on the plastic covering. Of course everyone else was doing this too (something to differentiate our binders- lest they all look the same!).

Now this is what the 'new generation' have. Instead of velcros - a button! I think the velcro one is better (and way more cool)!

I guess since my old Trapper Keeper is considered vintage says a lot about my generation - or how old we are now! To go back down memory lane, here is an album that I'm sure you would have had or know someone who had one : Vintage Trapper Keeper.

Oh Diego!

Instead of doing the million things that I must do, I chose to google Diego Bunuel. One of my most recent gorgeous crushness. It has been a very, very long time since I've had one - And I don't blame it on having too much time on my hands because I don't have any! I rarely watch TV and if I do it is most likely when Masterchef is on, or National Geo Adventure's Don't tell my mother - which Diego hosts. I only came across his  series this year (oh, better late than never!!) and instantly fell in luuuve. Must be the charm behind his attractive eloquence. Or the eyes that talk much more - offering an ever friendly gaze to the person he exchanges words with, either in French, Spanish or English. *Sigh* more pogi points to add onto his boyish charm. His series take you to (dangerous) road less travelled cities of the world, showcasing more than the usual landscapes and more into the lives of people in these places. Apparently he's graduated with a Journo degree from Northwestern Uni, well travelled journalist, and is French-Spanish-Mexican by descent and - currently married with kids! (Shame, shame, shame, if only... haha).

Enough of my drooling and onto other important things..

Photo from Google

Photo from Google

Yes Philippines Digital

I am such a showbiz chismis lover! And of course it has been ages since I've indulged in unadulterated showbiz scoop... so last month I subscribed to Yes Philippine Digital - through Philippine Entertainment Portal's website! The last time I subscribed was back in 2009. Oh simple pleasures in life. I guess it makes me forget reality for a little while and focus on the various articles available. My favourite reads are about featured celebrity homes. Taking a peek into the private lives of the celebrities can give one an insight to what they are like in real life - their taste, their personality and their guilty indulgences!

When I subscribed they didn't have the half price promotion (through Zinio) so I paid full price at $24.99. I wish I waited a little bit longer! But oh well, maybe next time I will catch a promo offer when I renew my subscription.

Off to read the goss now! December issue of YES is up!