And today began

.. Thought it was going to be the usual day. Lucky for me, today I still have my job. So far. Although I know of people in my business unit who have had a meeting and been given their blue file today. And their days in the office are numbered. Sad. Reality hit us today. We've been jacked into conference calls in and out today to get updates from head office about the massive news of job cuts. Everyone's just really head on with what's going on around us, within us. Overwhelming and draining. The day kept dragging on. Seems unreal, feels like a movie. Whose ending is uncertain; looking gloomy. We've been told it's not the end of the saga, just as the world economic atmosphere is constantly changing and so far to the disadvantage of the majority. Wondering when it will end, as we look up to our superiors and they too are faltering.. feeling their way through.. unable to give that reassuring pat that it will be okay, because it won't. The bottomless pit is winding down a long dark hole. Bleak. And, at the moment really all we can do is pray.

I have never felt insecure the way I felt today. I have always been lucky with my livelihood so far, always being offered a job here and there, being 'pirated' by the competitor, etc. But of course that does not have anything to do with now. Reflecting on all this, I think and hope I should be okay. After all, I am constantly being asked to fill in other positions, as I am cross skilled across a bigger range of products. Asked to support other teams. But, really, with all the gradual surprises going on nothing is stable. At all. I just feel for my friend/colleagues affected. Sometimes the grass is as bleakly green as on the other side of the fence.

Got a bit of a headache today from all these. I was too preoccupied to even notice I was not at my apartment's floor. I looked up to find I was at the neighbour's door!

I am just hoping tomorrow would be a bit better at least. But my heart just goes out to those who are in a more stressful situation than myself. C'est la vie.