Thinking out loud.. By a Travel Agent

1. I know everything about all cities in the world, the minute you ask me about it.

- You ask : What is the easiest way to travel to Yekaterinburg? (Isn't that a name of a person??) (Umm, no. It is a city in Russia, and I've known that information since I was in First grade. Duh.)

- Oh and yes I know that at this very moment it is -5 degrees in Anchorage Alaska, because I was just there 5 seconds ago. Not.

2. We don't use Google. At all. Never. Because See #1, we know e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g!

- Do you have the telephone number for the airport in Belize? Oh yes, I call them all the time, everytime.

3. We know all Airline Promos, Hotel Promos, Stay Pay Deals, Etc... happening everywhere in the world for your trip to America.

- Oh yes, we do have a list of all these things emailed to us every single day from every single airline. Every day. Let me pull out my 100 page email from United Airlines this morning.

4. We are mind readers.

- I know exactly where you want to go, and you don't have to tell me your travel dates. I can tell from your voice that you want a one way ticket to .. Mars. Travelling tomorrow.

5. Oh yes, I will have your enquiry quote emailed to you within the hour.

- Yes, because you are my only client that has called me today and I am at your service 24/7. And I don't need to have lunch now because you called and are so special. Even if it's now 3PM and my shift started at 8AM. Oh, I forgot. I don't eat. And I don't have breaks.

6. I have a seat on that aircraft specially for you, because WAITLIST is not in my vocabulary.

- Let me send you my private airplane so you can travel to Rio de Janeiro for the Carnival, even if you called me just today, and the celebration starts tomorrow. And you thought about booking this trip at the very LAST minute. Literally.... Of course, I HAVE a seat for you on my Plane. Anytime you call. Because I own Qantas, you know.

7. You ask me about checked in baggage, and I know all airline policies by heart. This was part of our 100 item quiz in my subject Airline Baggage 101 years ago.

- And, so I know that you are not able to take your ladder onboard the aircraft, even if you say you need this to climb the roof of the house you are building in the province of Manila. (I think excess kilos will cost you more than what your ladder is worth in $) !!!

Above information based on true stories of my everyday life as a travel agent.

More of my 'happy thoughts' next time. I am revealing too much of my mean self. Oh dear oh dear. I never knew what sarcasm was until about 9 years ago when I joined the Travel Industry... Please don't think I'm rude, I am just a travel agent.