"Life is too Short..

.. That it is meant to be lived so sweetly."

Cheesy I know, but for the past month or two, my workmate has been repeating this to me over and over again.

True though. So true. Life really can go by too quickly.

I realise I have been prolonging so many stages of my life. Like life is a waiting game. To test your patience. In this instance I can say my patience gets the better of me. Sometimes one just needs to jump, live, take risks, and move forward. Whether people judge you (or me), for making such decisions.. Is really not their concern. At some point a patient person needs to decide. I have. And I just hope everyone can be happy with that.

Deep :) But so True..

A day late

:X

I am feeling a bit cross. I just missed the Visa pre-sale for Coldplay's Sydney concert in March 2009. I was so tempted to buy tickets to see them in Melbourne or Brisbane instead.. But then again, the concert's scheduled for the middle of the week! Hassle!!

Okay, I lie, at the moment there are Sydney seats. Single seats. Meaning no two seats seated together. So that's really no good!! :X

Should we just watch them in Melbourne???

Scrapping

One thing that I always wanted to do but never got around to doing, or finishing, or ... Is Scrapping. I tried it just when I got to Sydney five years ago, and for a while I thought I would do it quite regularly, but then after a year I just got backlogged, and it just hasn't been updated since. It's a shame, coz I have quite a few things to document..milestones, events, travels, memories... I have put this on my top five things to do before the year ends. Hopefully I get to catch up on a bit. I am crossing my fingers and hoping I really get this done. Soon. :) I know it can be therapeutic to do this activity regularly, and really just to be able to let me creative juices out would be nice.

I really salute everyone who can scrap regularly. I know a few people who do this often, and I am jealous. It's some sort of like a life story, a snapshot of events, summarised in a pretty personalised book. Just thinking about it makes me want to do it right now. :)

Over again

There are some movies which I can never tire watching over again. No matter how many times I do watch them they just make me cringe or feel lovey dovey all over again. It's like a chocolate bar that you never get tired of.

Oh well, sometimes I just seem to find myself repeating my favorite movies when I am alone, because I know I don't mind seeing it again. My boyfriend is the same with a few really good movies. But, maybe not as often as me, he loves to listen to the great movie sound effect. Especially when he's got a new toy (eg, subwoofer, dvd player or whatever).

I guess, sometimes like a child we too have our favorite things. Whether it is manifested through a good movie, favorite chocolate bar or meal, or even just a cd. Human nature I suppose, to repeat the experience especially if it's a good one. I guess, I would not mind at all to have a nice long holiday!

Need a Break

As usual! I am just wanting one again. Well, I think the last real break I had was.....

I think in May! So that was six months ago. No wonder I have 3 weeks annual leave left for this year!

Actually I am taking four days off in a few weeks time. Still have nothing planned for that. When you plan trips left and right during the day, at work.. it can be tiresome to plan my own. That's just the way it is. Did you know that many travel agents leave booking their own holidays at the very last minute?! haha.

I am dreaming Fraser Island now... See picture. It's just so magical! Ohh I want to go back!!

That Christmas tradition

Spoke with a good friend from Manila last week, and she was telling me about what to give her daughter this Christmas. While on the topic of Santa, I’ve told her that there was this provider or service that would send to their home Letters From Santa himself! We were both sharing about our own experiences on writing Santa letters and receiving gifts that we asked for. It’s just really heartwarming to talk about traditions such as these, that are still being passed on from one generation to the next. I can’t wait to get my own little one to help write Santa letters!

Where? and Why?

Where would I be if I had chosen to stay in Manila? Pondering on how life would have been if I was (still) there. I could be enjoying myself with the company of people I love. Hanging out at some place over crepes (at Breton) or beer perhaps. Sometimes I think of these things. What if I was a person who never wanted to leave my homeland? I would probably lead a comfortable life. And by comfortable, I mean emotionally comfortable. Knowing that day in, day out, in one phone call, a few minutes (or so) drive, I will be with people I want to be with, at that time. I would probably be blissfully satisfied with all those emotional cravings that my family and friends would offer. On the other hand, I would have a job that would not pay me well, and that which I would endlessly complain about (not much difference with here i guess!). I probably wont be able to afford to live on my own and fend for myself. I would most likely be dependent on my parents for financial support for a longer time. Part of me wants to put blame on the government for this, that so many people in Manila (and anywhere in the Phils) would like to leave the country to be able to achieve financial independence. Think about so many families divided because of this situation. But then again, this situation is present in other countries. A lot of the foreigners I have encountered here have the main motive of improving their economic status. Sometimes I wonder where I would be happier, here or there? Where is the right place for me? Where do I belong? There are so many endless questions that I could ask, and as much as I would like to make the best of what I have at present/at hand, it is very difficult. Especially when homesickness sets in. All the financial freedom, career goals, etc that I have seem to fade into a distant memory. There are moments when I would just like to pack my bags and head home. No questions asked, no future considerations, no consequences. But life is not meant to be lived that way. In everything I do, I would have to think twice, thrice and so many times about the implications it would bring on my future. My fiance's and mines for that matter. After all, I led him to this life.

My fiance and I often talk about life and so many things involved in it. Such as where to settle. Where to raise our kids, how to raise them, what our ideals in life are, and what our ideal life would be. Oftentimes we would have the same emotions involved, but sometimes totally different actual ideas. Life here would entail a lot of sacrifice. Especially when kids come into the scene, one of us (most likely me) would be a stay at home parent, taking care of kids and the family's needs. Raising a child here is not easy, as we cannot depend on relatives or helpers to give assistance in rearing them. Or, just to watch them for a few hours while I have my "ME" time. Unlike in Manila, relatives will be around to offer (if not request them to) take care of the kids for a while. Here, it could be very restraining. Having to watch them 24/7 for 365/year. It will mean being involved in the baby's life every step of the way. In some cases that I have encountered here, some of the Filo parents bring their child to the Phils and leave them there with the grandparents. This is sad. Parents not really being able to fulfill their role as one. But then again, life here is different and I understand where they are coming from. They have a choice, and their choice is to work hard to be able to give their child the best. It must be a very difficult decision to do that. I wish and pray I would never have to decide on that.

I am feeling a little bit better after writing my thoughts about being here now, and my what ifs if I were in Manila. Its not much, but I think in all this, there is a purpose of me being here. I need to learn about life. Initially I really came here to study about Tourism. I learned a lot more than the things I learned inside the classroom. I learned to live on my own. I learned to cope with homesickness (most of the time, but of course, i break down too). I learned to be strong, for myself, by myself. I learned that if I wanted something done, I had to do, and no one would do it for me. I learned that after sometime one gets used to the place they live in, but one never forgets where one came from. I learned that out in the world, there are real situations, real life events that are not always easy to handle. I learned that life is not always easy, and that after being spoonfed for 20 years, one must learn to look for their own spoon, look for their own food, scoop it, and learn how to eat by themselves.It was not a very smooth road, but one must appreciate that, at least, there is a road. I learned that there are a whole lot of different types of people alive. Not all of them are nice. Not all of them play fair. Not all of them want whats best for you. Not all of them can be your friend. But maybe, One of them may be there at the hardest time of your life. I learned and understood that life is about the journey, and that we should at least make it as pleasant as possible for oneself and for others. For all we know, it is harder for the other person across the road. ( I heard that quote somewhere, worded differently of course).

Just like job hunting

They say when one goes into a business franchise it should be something that one is passionate about, because diving into a business is meant to be long term. A few or so years ago I was researching the probable best franchise for myself. I saw a couple that really interested me. However, I did not pursue this nor did I even speak with a franchise broker. Perhaps it wasn’t the right time then, or maybe I should have just made an appointment with anyone who may have known about any small business for sale, but I was not in a rush. Only recently did I find out that there is such a site which I know would try their best to match up the potential business owner and direct to the appropriate and suitable business. I think that this is quite a good thing to consider, that the right business for the right person. I mean, it is easy to just invest money but hard to actually invest one’s time and effort into something is something that needs careful consideration.

Something that crossed my mind just now: I think finding the right business for you is like looking for a job and going for interviews. A business idea or proposal may be appealing in the beginning just like the prospect of starting in a new company where it all seems so exciting and promising. However, when it comes to the actual details, we may realize that this employer may not take us to where we want to go in terms of growth and career. Same with a business. Makes me think now, is there something that I may never grow tired to work for? I guess it’s pretty obvious my choice will still be travel.

Crazy, Early Thoughts

Crazy Morning thoughts,
..brought about by a dream
A dream that never existed in reality
Igniting that aimless fire within
Lonesome, troubled, confused soul
For a second, dreaming what ifs
Just until I awake, and find myself lost
Eternal space, endless possibilities
To seek the truth, where?
Counting seconds until
I realise I know where I am
Wasting thoughts on meaningless limbo
Drifting season, recurring dream
Ceasefire and sleep
Again
Until the next time I awake
And find myself
Staring
Sleeping while I am faced with reality
Enough
Sweet melancholic slumber
Is what I need
You?
We all know, it isnt
We all know we are happy
Let us not remember
Suppressed surrender
Peace, then live.

Keeping myself busy

At work, the girls and I were talking the other day about how they enjoyed playing their Nintendo DS games with their partners, and how fun the new Nintendo Wii is. One of my colleagues had bought so much games, including the gadgets that come along with it. She is also very much into that Wii yoga at the moment that she had to demonstrate to us how her sister and boyfriend imitated her in this weird balancing position. This got us all cracking! But really, if I had a Wii Fit game I would probably end up doing a bit more exercise.

There are just so much games to choose from that an actual window shopping day for price comparison would be necessary to be able to find the best buy! Although with how the rate things are going, I may end up just buying impulsively just before Christmas. I guess I should just consult my boyfriend or my work mate to ask for tips on choosing a good console game for me.

... all about me (again!) :)

...i love making lists
...i love to travel, but i hate airplane rides
...i love daydreaming about the future..my future family, future vacations, future anything
...i love chocolates! milk chocolates...not dark bitter ones...white chocolates, maybe sometimes...
...i like beach trips. but i dont like getting dark...
...i like taking long and hot showers...
...i like mellow, soothing sounds
...ive always thought of playing jazz/blues music in my apartment, with dim mood lights, chilling and just wasting time...lounging on a big lazy couch...with the aircon turned on, and my big warm blankie...
...i like reading about showbiz chatter! to forget about my own life concerns just for a moment
...i like watching movies!either in the theatre, dvds played at home..
...i love rooftops and views...
...i like planning vacations, day trips, even if i have a feeling it might not push through!
...i like sulking sometimes. i feel better afterwards! crazy me,,,
...i like collecting brochures of sorts...i think i could fill a whole closet already!
...i like buying bags... sometimes i have to convince myself that i dont have room for any anymore.
...i lik e people watching, sometimes.. just sit on the park bench and watch the world go by...
...i like mcdo chicken nuggets...with BBQ and Sweet and Sour Sauce. I always buy 2 sauces!
...i like going on a ferry ride... on a hot summer day... cruising on the harbour...keeping quiet..
...i like going to loud music bars, ocncerts, once in a while..it gives me a natural high during and after...
...i like balconies and views...
...i like krispy kreme, marble frost....
...i love long weekends and public holidays
...i could sleep all day if i could...
...i dont mind being alone sometimes... sometimes, i wouldnt want to be alone...
...i have a mental list of names that i would like for my baby someday...
...i hate winter weather... gloomy days, cold nights
...i like peeking into other people's thoughts about things...
...i used to like opening emails, until i started getting too many work related ones!