I have this thing for Quora

I have this thing for Quora. I read Q and A's there every now and then and it is quite entertaining and possibly I learn a few things sometimes (whether they are true or not, well, is another thing).

Today while reading I picked this up:
If you don't appreciate your freedom, you don't learn to appreciate (or make) your good decisions.

Those are in my words and my interpretation of what I read. Growing up, I felt I didn't have much freedom. Being the eldest, like a lot of first borns, I was the guinea pig of my parents. They were more overprotective of me when I was young. And as I grew older I felt they didn't really give me much freedom, which my younger siblings had when it was their turn to be a teenager, a young adult, etc. They were stricter with me- which made me a bit more uptight I think as an adult. I was not 'trained' to think that I could make good decisions. Whether this was because of how I was brought up or my personality, I don't know.

So, when I read the Quora answer it kind of struck a chord in me. Perhaps the reason why I sometimes question my decisions (whether I was making the right choice in life) was because I never appreciated my freedom- because I didn't have one before.

When I moved out of home at 25, and moved to a different country- I was seeking freedom. It was the biggest decision I think I would ever make and have made- in my entire life. It was a life changing decision that would pave way for my future life, the future life of my (immediate) family, my kids and the future generation.

Change is happening

For SO long all I wanted was for little miss to have a sibling. I come from a huge family and would have wanted to have a big family too-but I started having kids quite late in my adult life....

After losing our little boy last year I yearned to try for another baby when I was ready and this year it happened. I am now at 37 weeks and ready to pop anytime now! A girl again this time. As much as I miss our little angel- I am still trying to accept the surreal reality that I may actually be bringing home our baby this time. Soon. There are still some raw emotions I think which I will have to deal with when this baby comes out and as much as I am trying to just take things one thing at a time and not overthink it is difficult.

I am wondering what kind of change I would have to go through when we have another addition to the family. Surely lots of changes will happen. And ideally here are some changes I hope to achieve for the best:

*Routine- Having a daughter already start school I have had a bit of a routine going for the family for a while now. This will change and hopefully I would get to incorporate a good new routine eventually while keeping what we already have been doing. Tweaking here and there I guess especially in the beginning.

*Freedom- I've had some freedom for a while now after going on a break from the 'corporate' world in 2014. I know I will encounter a 'shock' of some sort when my recently acquired freedom will cease to exist for another 5 years. Someone will depend on me 24/7 again- clinging to me and depending on me for everything small and big. I will have to activate that extra 'sense' and mother's instinct overdrive again. It's a different extra 'sense' when there is a newborn involved, and a different one with a school age child I think. I need to be 'extra sensitive' again as a mum. If that makes sense.

*Physically- I expect to be more tired (yet again). I will have 3 people to look after, after all! And a house to keep, meals to prepare, etc! I will need to get that extra vitamin boost I think!

*Emotionally- As with all births there is an emotional and hormonal change happening immediately and sometimes not so immediate after delivery. I would have to be open to the change that would follow the physical change happening with the family. New dynamics within our family would take place and learned.

*Time Management- I hope to be able to manage my time better with a new little one. I know the mistakes I have committed when our first was born and hopefully I would have learned how to go about with better this time around! I have to think strategically and think up ways to save me precious time!

*Effort- This would be a big change. If in the past I could wing it here and there, I guess having another little person would mean I would have to be wiser in my efforts and choosing priorities.

*Priorities- Linked with everything above I would have to adjust my mindset and choose my priorities wisely. Obviously it would be good to have some sort of income coming in while I am on leave caring for the new little one, but I should have that same focus when we had our first born where I could anticipate how she was feeling even before she felt it. And I have to be ahead of the game once again.

Oh the life as a parent- as a mum! Always full of challenges, changes and planning involved!

the Balikbayan Route

Today I came across this Facebook Page, the Balikbayan Route and once again I missed Manila noise! There are days I think I would like to live back home again. However hubby reminds me that if we move back we wouldn't have access to what the Aus government can offer. Quality of air isn't good (especially downtown), the lifestyle is different (Manila malls vs Sydney parks). And this is in addition to the other many things to consider..................

Ok, but I tell hubby we will live in the province (if Tagaytay and Cavite is considered one!) to avoid the chaos in Manila but at the same time still be within three (!!) hours drive. Why can't life be simple and have all my loved ones in one country. Let alone one city. Big sigh. Growing up and the facts of life.

At the end of the day, we strive to give the best to our children (current and future) and hope and pray that we are happy with most of our decisions so that the journey of life will be enjoyable. C'est la vie.

Source

Bursting with Ideas

A long time ago my mom told me I was hyperactive, just like my dad who never sits still. I thought to myself that couldn't be. I am very calm, collected and reserved. But I guess, over the years I kind of understood what my mom meant. Like my dad, I am full of ideas, bursting with new thoughts, plans, activities, business ideas, ventures, and the list goes on... forever!

I cannot imagine the life of a person running out of ideas. Sure, I hit a dead end every once in a while. By choice I stop from thinking further, but really I sometimes think I am overflowing with new things to do, accomplish and create.

Source

Sigh. And it is very tiring. Tiring not because the ideas are running out, but tiring because I feel I don't have time to do all of these. I am a thinker. And so as much as I would like to put it all into action, there are only 24 hours in a day. One step at a time, I would like to achieve as much of my ideas into something. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to sleep to avoid running out of time to DO! But of course I need sleep in order to function the next day! As a mum this is important of course for my family to thrive!

I have endless lists. Sometimes creating a list makes me feel good because I am made to believe that I would do this one day. Go through the list and just DO IT. If only I had the time!

So, yes I guess I am a hyperactive thinker. Give me a paper and pen and I can jot a whole note-full of thoughts, doodles, scribbles and ideas. My mum was right after all (aren't they almost always!)

Since then

Hubby's given me the talk.. I've been too whingey lately and it's sending him not pleasant signals that the novelty of having a baby is gone. Admittedly, I have been whingeing too much. And I feel bad that maybe little B is sensing it... Bad vibes.. So, I have and am, making a conscious effort to be positive and not whinge. Much. Much less. Especially when it comest to me selfishly wanting me time. To work. (Have realised that as much as I am a career oriented person, I am a mum now. And a wife.)

So, here's my top three thoughts/motivations to keep me from slipping back to my old whingey self:

Photo from http://creativethursday.typepad.com/my_weblog/2007/03/growing-up.html

1. The little girl now won't stay little for too long. She is beginning to be communicative, and that just makes her all the more irresistible. In other words, as much as she is testing my patience big time, she is just being herself = cheeky baby. This stage won't last long, before you know it, she's spending more time with her friends than me.

2. Work can wait. Having decided to have a baby is a lifelong commitment. It's about sacrificing, knowing priorities. At the moment, we may not have all the spare moolahs to spend, but at the end of the day little B just wants me and her dadda's time, love and attention. The occasional new toys are just perks. But really, quality time spent together is priceless. In a few years, we can get back on track with our savings. For now, enjoy the moment.

3. Keeping it simple is the key to (my) happiness. (my decision and definition of happiness). One day at a time, one step at a time. There's plenty to do, but it all starts with small steps. Every step of the way will lead to something worthwhile.

I am thankful for hubby's not-so-gentle reminder. Sometimes it's just what I need. A verbal whack in the head.

0100 Truths

It's been a very long while since I've done this...

100 truths.

What was your…




1. Last beverage — Water



2. Last phone call — My sister.



3. Last text message — My dad.


4. Last song you listened to — Oh Well.


5. Last time you cried — Shed a tear, this morning. At the airport. Cried, as in big cry ... don't remember.



Have you ever…



6. Dated someone twice — Yes, of course.



7. Been cheated on — Yes, emotionally.



8. Kissed someone and regretted it — Nope. But the other way around. Did not kiss someone, and regretted it. Haha! But not anymore!!



9. Lost someone special — Yes. A few times.


10. Been depressed — Yes, I guess we all go through that somehow.



List favorite colors:



11. Aquamarine


12. Old Rose



13. Light Yellow


14. Gray (not exactly a colour)



This year (2011), have you…



15. Made a new friend — Yes.



16. Fallen out of love — Nope.



17. Laughed until you cried — Oh yes, there were a few times.



18. Met someone who changed you — Not this year! Or, not yet!


19. Found out who your true friends were — I've known who my true friends are for a while now.


20. Found out someone was talking about you — So far, I have yet to find out!



21. Any regrets — I try not to. Sometimes it's an effort.


General:



22. Prized possession: Our wedding ring/engagement ring.


23. Hobby: Doing nothing! For a change. Am a busy bee otherwise.



24. Do you have any pets? — No pets in this household. Sadly.


25. Do you want to change your name? — Nope, I am pretty much happy with my unique name.

26. What did you do on your last birthday - Spent the day at home, with the little one. Then, come evening
with hubby.


27. What time did you wake up today? — 7AM



28. What were you doing at midnight last night — Working.


29. Name something you cannot wait for — I cannot wait for next summer! Just warm sunshine with a two year old would be exciting...


30. Last time you saw your mother — Last month.



31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? — Occassionally I think I would like to change a few things. But I suppose, things and events and people happen for a reason. So, I'd rather not mess up with that. Answering the question though, I wish I had me and hubby's family live in the same city as us.


32. What makes you sad? – Thinking about not spending enough time with family (obviously coz they are not around)



33. Your happiness — A very lazy weekend. Lunch by the wharf, movie marathon with hubby, spend half an hour at the park with the little one. On a very nice sunny warm weekend.


34. What’s getting on your nerves right now? — Slow Technology! Slow laptop!


35. Most visited webpage — Facebook


37. Food that I avoid: Chocolates. But, I usually succumb to temptation.


37. Nicknames — I'd rather not share.


38. Relationship Status — Married.


39. Zodiac sign — Aquarius



40. What do you wear on a nightout? — Hmm, I don't remember when the last one was! But I would probably wear blouse/jeans, or a dress + tights.


41. What do you wear to a casual lunch? Casual dress

42. What do you wear on a bad day? — I wear my hair up, baggy clothes.


43. Fashion Icon — None really.


44. Hair color — Tired brown. Would love to have some colour done tho: one shade of brown lighter.


45. Favorite brother – Both of them! Hahaha.


46. Height — 5 foot 2


47. Do you have a crush on someone? Yes, but they don't know me. And they live in a different world. Yes, hubby knows about this!


48: What do you like about yourself? I usually like that I am a go-getter. Recently though, I've been having a few issues due to my time constraint/limitations thats not under my control.


49. Workout: Balancing the baby, doing the dishes, and working.


50. Tattoos — None.



51. Righty or lefty? — Dominantly a righty. But I can do some curvies on my left too.


Firsts:



52. First surgery — Giving birth.


53. First piercing — First and only - ears.



54. First best friend — Joyce.


55. First sport you joined — Swimming.


56. First vacation — Baguio with my family.


57. First kiss – My second boyfriend.


58. First pair of trainers — Don't remember!!


Right now:



59. Eating — Chocolates. So unhealthy!


60. Drinking — Lots of water.


61. I’m about to — Have dinner.


62. I’m listening to — The sound of silence.


63. Waiting for — the little girl to wake up.


Your future:



64. Want kids? — I want another one! Sooooon.


65. Get married? — Check.


66. Career? — I am really wanting my travel biz and migration biz to work out well.


Which is better…



67. Lips or eyes ? — Eyes


68. Hugs or kisses ? — Hugs, then kisses.


69. Shorter or taller? — Taller.


70. Older or younger? — Would have preferred an older one, but I manage to always end up with someone younger!


71. Romantic or spontaneous? — Romantic. Not so much a spontaneous person, at heart I will always be a planner.


72. Nice stomach or nice arms? — Nice arms!!


73. Sensitive or loud? — Sensitive please.


74. Hook-up or relationship? — Is this even a question? Definitely a relationship.


75. Devil or angel? — Angel please.


Have you ever…



76. Kissed a stranger? — Never.


77. Drunk hard liquor? — Not in a very very very long while.


78. Lost glasses/contacts? — Nope..



79. Sex on first date? — Nope.


80. Broken someone’s heart? — I think I have. Maybe a few times. More or less. More.


81. Had your heart broken? — Oh yes.


82. Been arrested? — No.



83. Turned down someone you love? I don't know if it was love. But yes, I have turned down someone because of Love.


84. Fallen for a friend? — I think so.



85. Raison d’ Etre? — To be happy.


Do you believe in…



86. Yourself? — Not my strongest moment now, but yes, I try to.


87. Miracles? — A big YES.


88. Love at first sight? — I think so!!


89. Heaven? — Yes.



90. Santa Claus? — Yes!


91. Kiss on the first date? — Well, no.


92. Angels? — Yes.



Answer truthfully…



93. Do you still think about past loves? — I think every once in a while, we all do.


94. Did you start your day with a prayer?  I try to.


95. Did you sing today? — Yup.



96. Who was the one that got away? — Well, I'd like to think he let me go.


97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? 1990. I'd love to re-live high school and college days in Manila. They were the best.


98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? — The day I gave birth.


99. Are you afraid of falling in love again? — Why would it happen again?


100. Posting this as 100 truths? — YES!

Fashion sense

Why do stars get away with wearing something like a 5.11 Tactical Series uniform? I was watching the morning show today and they were reviewing stars and their choice of clothes. Kylie Minogue had this combat pants on and it was not very flattering. I am not really the biggest fan of cargo pants and the like. I think I've only owned one set of these pants which I've only worn once. I guess it's really a preference. If I could say one thing about this army boot camping style : leave it with the experts who wear them for a purpose. I don't think that army fashion will ever be in. That's just me.