Complete.

Complete is such a big word- especially when talking about being "done" with having kids.

I would love to have lots of kids, having come from a large family myself. However, there are a few important reasons which hubby and I think/agree/decide(d) on about having more children. (Note: We both would LOVE to have more, but with the way things are we don't think we will have any more).

(I've just realised now that a lot of my posts recently involve inumerations or lists of some sort - I just love, love, love lists!!) Here are two throw back posts fromlist loving 'me': Bursting with Ideas, and A traveller's check list.

Here are some of the reasons why hubby and I think our family is now complete:

1. We have two lovely girls with us, and a little boy in heaven watching over us. Our two girls have each other and we are beyond thankful that they will grow up with a lifelong friend/each other. As much as I would really love to have them be a part of a bigger sibling friendship..............

2. I am nearly 40 years old, and my body seems like it cannot cope with another pregnancy - having lost our little angel in 2014, having had 3 rather difficult pregnancies and deliveries. To have another pregnancy may not be the safest way.

3. Living overseas without family to help will drive me insane if we have another one. Although this one can really be overridden and only would be extremely difficult on the first year or two. Once the children reach 2 years old it usually is more cruise-y and enjoyable.

4. Serious financial issues must be looked at soon, and having another little one means our 'saving' mode will be delayed. We have decided since having our eldest that we would be the primary carer for our children and not put them in childcare for so many personal reasons. And having reason #3 to add to this situation, we have defaulted to being a one (regular) income family. I do have my business and sidelines, but that is very dependent on season and effort I put in (intentionally or involuntarily-- family comes first obviously).

These are the main reasons which I can think of now, but I am sure there are a few other compelling reasons to make us say our family is now complete. Although. while we were at church yesterday I felt this yearning to try for another boy. I think I saw a little boy seated (or lying on the floor mostly, actually!) and I wondered what it was like to be a parent of a little boy (on earth). They (boys) are a totally different specie to girls is what they say! I mentioned it to hubby but I don't think he felt the same yearning as I did. Although the feeling was real and true, I am set back by the above reasons.... and so I am just focusing on being happy and thankful for our girls.

Tonight, while scrolling on Facebook I came across a lovely page and store (etsy!). Just made me think even more about our family being complete and about my girls growing up as sisters. I myself have 3 sisters and so seeing these artworks put a smile and a tear at the same time.... for so many reasons. (And probably also due to my hormones!!).

Anyway, I came across Heather Stillufsen on Facebook, Blog and on Etsy. I love her work! Here are a few of her works which I find appropriate for this entry!

Photo from Heather Stillufsen's page

Photo from Heather Stillufsen's page

Change is happening

For SO long all I wanted was for little miss to have a sibling. I come from a huge family and would have wanted to have a big family too-but I started having kids quite late in my adult life....

After losing our little boy last year I yearned to try for another baby when I was ready and this year it happened. I am now at 37 weeks and ready to pop anytime now! A girl again this time. As much as I miss our little angel- I am still trying to accept the surreal reality that I may actually be bringing home our baby this time. Soon. There are still some raw emotions I think which I will have to deal with when this baby comes out and as much as I am trying to just take things one thing at a time and not overthink it is difficult.

I am wondering what kind of change I would have to go through when we have another addition to the family. Surely lots of changes will happen. And ideally here are some changes I hope to achieve for the best:

*Routine- Having a daughter already start school I have had a bit of a routine going for the family for a while now. This will change and hopefully I would get to incorporate a good new routine eventually while keeping what we already have been doing. Tweaking here and there I guess especially in the beginning.

*Freedom- I've had some freedom for a while now after going on a break from the 'corporate' world in 2014. I know I will encounter a 'shock' of some sort when my recently acquired freedom will cease to exist for another 5 years. Someone will depend on me 24/7 again- clinging to me and depending on me for everything small and big. I will have to activate that extra 'sense' and mother's instinct overdrive again. It's a different extra 'sense' when there is a newborn involved, and a different one with a school age child I think. I need to be 'extra sensitive' again as a mum. If that makes sense.

*Physically- I expect to be more tired (yet again). I will have 3 people to look after, after all! And a house to keep, meals to prepare, etc! I will need to get that extra vitamin boost I think!

*Emotionally- As with all births there is an emotional and hormonal change happening immediately and sometimes not so immediate after delivery. I would have to be open to the change that would follow the physical change happening with the family. New dynamics within our family would take place and learned.

*Time Management- I hope to be able to manage my time better with a new little one. I know the mistakes I have committed when our first was born and hopefully I would have learned how to go about with better this time around! I have to think strategically and think up ways to save me precious time!

*Effort- This would be a big change. If in the past I could wing it here and there, I guess having another little person would mean I would have to be wiser in my efforts and choosing priorities.

*Priorities- Linked with everything above I would have to adjust my mindset and choose my priorities wisely. Obviously it would be good to have some sort of income coming in while I am on leave caring for the new little one, but I should have that same focus when we had our first born where I could anticipate how she was feeling even before she felt it. And I have to be ahead of the game once again.

Oh the life as a parent- as a mum! Always full of challenges, changes and planning involved!

Nerdies at heart

Me and hubby are secretly nerdies at heart. At home during our down time we watch David Attenborough's specials on animals, nature, planet factoids. Sometimes we just watch any other documentary (we previously recorded) about the beginnings of life on Earth, planets and space. Other times we watch about docus on modern life, modern infrastructure and buildings, evolution of human life, other species, human culture and behaviour. Sometimes we watch about current events or special shows on refugees, immigration, travel and discovery.

This is one way hubby and I bond - over documentaries that interest us both. We find ourselves engrossed intellectually - discussing 'quietly' or as we watch along. Sometimes we are 'too relaxed' while watching and end up snoozing side by side, only to restart the show the next day.

(okay, occasionally when we are homesick we do bond over cheesy Filipino flicks or Filipino drama)

I really should share some of the interesting stories featured in some of the shows we watch... Hmm...

In the meantime, we are in search for a tv series to watch... Last time we dutifully followed a series was back in the day of "Lost" and Heroes" (oh and my Gossip Girl days).



From zazzle.com.au

Ideally this would be me

Ya, ya ya, the picture I wish was me working at home. Poised, composed, neat.

But not!

Since officially starting work at home last week, I have been calm, but not poised. The house is a mess. I guess I am just about to make my (our) routine. Not as easy. A baby does not have the best routine. But I suppose that should not throw me off my goal. Working from home would work, and I will make sure it does.

Although it means being able to time my calls in B's good, silent moods. Checking and replying to emails quickly. Doing my research with one hand feeding B, while the other is typing away.

Well of course this only happens in the beginning. Things will be better. Before I know it the little one is not so little anymore, and I would have mastered the art of juggling my time. For now, I look at the photo above and feel hopeful that everything is possible. After all, (its my secret) I am supermom! Hahaha!

Good nights sleep

Every pregnant woman knows how challenging it can be every night to find a good sleeping position. It helps if one invests in a good mattress, with the help of the bed experts one can find solace in sleepy nights. I wish we had consulted an expert when we bought our mattress. I thought I wanted a soft cushion but I just realized I really want a sturdy and firm mattress. For now, I will have to settle with really nice and comfortable pillows. I do hope they sell maternity pillows at the baby show that hubby and I are attending tomorrow.

Making my life easier

Recently I discovered online grocery shopping at Woolworth's HomeShop website. I usually like doing the grocery when I am not pressed for time, but sometimes it can be a painful chore. Especially when it's time to buy rice/detergent/etc (this can be gruesome taking it home-living without a car can do this). So now I have the option of doing my heavy shopping online, and have someone take it straight to our apartment! Another plus, is that I can just browse through weekly specials in one go. You know how while at the supermarket it can be overwhelming seeing all the stacks and shelves of goodies. One can easily miss out on things, or forget stuff to buy.

I love it that I can just click one button if I decide not to buy a certain item. I can even double the same item in one hit. Overall, I guess Homeshopshopping is just an alternative. Nothing beats the therapy of going through aisles and aisles of actual goodies.

Those small things

When hubby and I weren't living together yet his old apartment had a bedbug problem, and some other insect problem. He even had to call an exterminator to get rid of this infestation. I remember the guy was very accommodating in answering our queries. I wish we found a site earlier that discussed issues such as this. It might have helped us understand the problem better. I don't think it was something he could have avoided since the apartment was pretty old. Hubby only stayed about a month at that place! Good our apartment now doesn't have any of these insect problems!

Looking forward to quiet friday nights..

Last friday I went out for drinks with the ladies from work. I found myself not being up for that night for some reason. Perhaps coz it has been a long week, plus I knew I had no weekend to look forward to due to saturday and sunday classes. Or, maybe I was just really maturing (READ: getting old). I was thinking that I might have enjoyed my friday night if I spent it quietly at home with hubby. Oh well! I will make sure I get this quiet friday night next week!!

Gardens and Flowers

If I had my way I would love to care for a garden with lots of flowers. Flowers with different shapes, sizes, colours, fragrances. For now, since I do not have a garden, I am simply contented with taking photos of such lovely things.

Talk about dream house

How many times have I looked over home products for my dream home? I cannot count!I have always been fascinated with the idea of building my own home one day. There is even a game that I used to play for hours just building this dream house. I guess in the long run, when the time comes for me to actually draft my blue print, I would know exactly what I like. As early as now, one can never be too excited about installing the perfect set of carpets, lovely and huge windows, plus that dream exterior shutters which I am sure would just go really well with the whole garden layout. I am getting too excited about this dream home talk!

My current floral obssession

Since about November, I have been into fresh flowers. I have been keeping a fresh bunch at my vase at home, and so far it has never been empty. In December it was the Christmas bush, and in January I had a bunch of gerberas and lilies, now I am just about to discard my lavender. In high school I thought I was just interested in everything floral such as : pencil cases, binders, organizers, bags. I never really got to cultivate my love for flowers until I had my own home. I realized that flowers can make a big difference in enlivening a room. Flowers give that sense of calmness and joy, that’s why it is given to a loved one when welcoming a new family member, in times of grief, at weddings, at concerts, during courtship, etcetera. Depending on the type of flower, there are various meanings attached to it and depending on the occasion. Going back to decorating my home, I guess at the moment I am just really trying to channel my energy to nurturing a plant since I don’t have my own bub yet. Perhaps I would not even mind trying my skills later on when we have our own place, to try and see if I’ve got a green thumb, by keeping a garden. I am just dreaming on, I should first try to make my current African violent plant sprout some flowers again! Still so much to learn!

Classic timepieces

I believe that there are some home pieces that can actually liven up the whole place by that mere pretty piece set in a good location at home. Of course, among other things such as a Christmas tree (given this season), grandfather clocks can do this to a home as well. At my grandparent’s old home, they used to have a really nice eye-catching grandfather clock that would do its round song, round the clock, and it would just be a source of conversation for first time visitors. If I were to buy my own one, and if I had a massive house, I would put it very close to the dining and living area. The cost is like buying your usual big appliance, so might as well make it a big thing part of the conversation!

These excellent timepieces are very much an accessory, as it is a practical home or office piece as seen in that photo of President Bush calling the new president elect Obama. Really, classic clocks can never really go out of style. There are a lot of clocks out in the market, but that one special one would be a reflection of one’s home style and character. I’ve seen a few of them that were very modern, while still some other ones are really a classic!

Sell and Buy

My sister in law and his husband was meant to buy a new house before they give birth to their child. It is now only about 3 months to go before she delivers her baby, but they still haven’t bought a new one. According to hubby, they are delaying a bit because they would end up selling their current home at a very depreciated value and would not want to do that. I was going to tell them that there were Round rock tx homes for sale that they may probably be interested in, but given their situation I would probably just save my words. Maybe in a few months’ time the financial situation of the world would be better. Although, in our recent general meeting at work, they are predicting that this global crisis may take us all until 2010 for things to go back to normal, whatever that means.

Crisis and Stuff

Was having lunch with a good colleague today and we talked about how expensive it is to purchase a house nowadays. Having said that though, we both know quite a few people who’ve recently bought houses and so far they are not that stressed out about repayments. But then again watching the news, and listening to other people’s stories, some of them work seven days a week, and have two or three jobs (both husband and wife). Really, I guess when one is ready to buy, the timing does not matter as much (I mean recession or not), if it is the right one and one has prepared and researched extensively then no one can really question. I am just thinking about those Tampa Realtors and whether with all the media frenzy and information about the global financial crisis, whether they are still able to sell properties now. I know that my sister in law in the US is currently looking for a property, but unfortunately is having a difficult time doing so (due to so many reasons), I suppose I could try to help her research on properties being offered by Realtors in Tampa. She is pregnant as well and wanting to purchase a bigger house as soon as possible, so it is not healthy for her to stress about these things.

My apologies: Systems were down

The past week I have been sick three times, been to the doctor twice. And I did not enjoy that at all. I was home most of the time. Trudging myself to blog. Struggled to keep myself busy inspite of my immune system being down.

Last Wednesday, Thursday.

I had laryngitis. Thus had this sexy voice for about two and a half days. My boyfriend found it cute. But I just found it uncomfortable. Obviously I could not go to work with my voice that way. I was advised to not talk at all. My body was feeling okay at that time.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

And, then it hit me. Something. I had my voice back, so I tried to go to work. Ended up going home after a few hours. My body felt weak and I was nursing a bad head cold and had this chesty painful cough. Bad case of Sinusitis. So, I took lots of oranges and by monday I was back at work.

Monday.

I was well and working.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday (today) and Friday.

Still working, but by the end of the day I was aching again all over, and officially had the flu. At night I had the worst chills one could have on a Cold Cold winter night. The next day, I brought myself to work. Struggling. I barely made it alive, as my back was aching, my tummy was painful for some medical reason I found out later on. I was feverish. Miserable than ever. The doctor's given me a medical certificate to take the rest of the week off.

I am feeling much better today. I am still on my medication and I am most likely to take tomorrow off again. I would rather get completely well, than come to work and then run back home.

This is the reason why I haven't been visiting sites much. I am hoping to get back to my usual routine soon. Enough of these sick days and bad system. Although, honestly I was able to plan our wedding a bit due to these days at home. Blessing in disguise? Hmm. I prefer to have been home and well tho. I am thankful I am better now.

Cooold Sydney weather

We’ve been having just freezing cold weather recently, and I am so much looking forward to warmer days and nights! I know it’s still quite nice (say between 7 and 16 degrees celsius) and bearable compared to Europe or America winter. But still! I am just hoping I could hope on a plane and head to tropical country, or perhaps just go and check out Hilton head homes for sale, maybe it would be a lot warmer. Sometimes when it gets really chilly I just go to my boyfriend and tell him that maybe we should consider relocating to sunny Queensland (where it never really gets too cold). In the northern bit of Australia, it is always tropical and nice, just like Hilton head real estate, the prices of homes for sale Hilton head are a lot more affordable. In Sydney, I’ve read in the papers that there are more and more people buying together piece of land or property, like for example two couples purchasing a home together. It may not be ideal but with real estate being so high then it just makes sense to co-purchase property. I guess, I am just really griping and whingeing now because I am really cold!

Dream home dreaming

At one point or another we all have come up with ideas about our dream houses and Home Plans. I admit as early as fourteen years old, I was drafting my kitchen impressions, bedroom features, and all that onto my sketch pad. I would look at magazines and study Contemporary house plans, checking out bathroom designs and gardens became a hobby for some time. It helped that my parents owned a number of books that relate to houses and designs. I remember seeing French Country House Plans that were so cozy and pretty. Looking back at those times, I have fond memories about sketching and designing homes that I may have been an architect or an interior designer if the calling to the travel industry not have been stronger. Now that I am older, I still don’t live in my dream house yet, but I have ideas in my mind about how I want my future home to be. It’s a good thing that my boyfriend and I agree on the house designs that we find pretty. I’ve also come to accept that although my ideas are okay, his is better. He sees the whole master plan and he makes sure that the furniture matches up to the main theme of the house.

Plans and dream homes

I was so close to buying a property in the city a month ago. Thinking about everything involving House Plans excited me and hubby. However due to interest rates going up (it still is just heading straight to the ceiling) and other personal reasons I have decided to just hold off for now. Although our plans are on hold, we are still always talking about details on what kind of design or theme we would like for our first home together. Whether it was a country house or a very modern looking house, I’m sure it will be something nice. Hubby has got a great eye for quality furniture and about arranging them at home. Having said that I too like decorating my house however sometimes I have a tendency to buy one piece of furniture regardless if it matched my other furniture. I am learning though and soon I would be an expert at creating Home Plans ( I suppose still not as good as hubby).

Another thing that interests us is investing in a vacation home, away from the hustle and bustle of the city. We haven’t gone as far as doing Log home plans or anything like that, but we are thinking of a nicely done with the perfect ambience to get away from it all during weekends. For now these are all plans, but with a lot of hard work and patience we will reach our goals one day. Until then, we can always dream and surf around the internet for great home ideas.

TV or Couch?

I’ve been looking for new furniture to match my somewhat small couch. It has been so long that I’ve wanted to buy a bigger couch but then due to financial restraints, I am torn between buying a bigger couch or a new home theatre appliance. Part of me wants to just keep my old seat, and buy a big plasma television and DVD Mini Theater System. However that means watching my favorite movies in a really nice screen, but scrunching while seated in my old couch. I guess I can’t have everything, or at least not yet.

For now, I am satisfying the need to shop by just searching online through Shopwiki, which is a really great site. Instead of having to go through individual shop websites, shopwiki captures them all for me, by listing different stores and their bargains for a plasma television. I actually found a Panasonic 42” Plasma TV that might actually fit my budget! I will have to discuss with hubby though if we are able to make this purchase now or whether we should just wait for our tax return money. I am keeping my fingers crossed until then.

Moving out of home

Do you remember the time when you moved out of your parents’ house? I do. I actually moved out when I moved to Sydney. Initially I lived with a family who has been friends with my family ever since I can remember. When I moved in with that family friend, I had no say whatsoever in my bedroom furniture, or what I can or can’t do within the confines of my own space. It was all right though. I had a neat room with light or pastel yellow colored walls, big closet, my own computer table and computer, a bedside drawer, and a lamp. It was quite basic, but I appreciate them taking me into their home. It was a huge house with a swimming pool and a big garden, as well as two living rooms, a TV room, a prayer room and an office. Their home office furniture were nice and big. The office had it’s own receiving area with big fluffy cushion couches. My friends and classmates who would visit me says I live in a mansion! That was all before I moved to my humble home now. All on my own, I decide on what furniture to buy, in what color and in what style. My current space is a one bedroom which measures only about 50 square metres. It is quite big for one person, but I find myself always needing more space to chuck my things in. I guess all girls should have one room or closet dedicated to fit trinkets, clothes and other girl item essentials. It would be really nice if I could get storage beds that would have some nook and cranny filled in with more of my stuff!