Change is happening

For SO long all I wanted was for little miss to have a sibling. I come from a huge family and would have wanted to have a big family too-but I started having kids quite late in my adult life....

After losing our little boy last year I yearned to try for another baby when I was ready and this year it happened. I am now at 37 weeks and ready to pop anytime now! A girl again this time. As much as I miss our little angel- I am still trying to accept the surreal reality that I may actually be bringing home our baby this time. Soon. There are still some raw emotions I think which I will have to deal with when this baby comes out and as much as I am trying to just take things one thing at a time and not overthink it is difficult.

I am wondering what kind of change I would have to go through when we have another addition to the family. Surely lots of changes will happen. And ideally here are some changes I hope to achieve for the best:

*Routine- Having a daughter already start school I have had a bit of a routine going for the family for a while now. This will change and hopefully I would get to incorporate a good new routine eventually while keeping what we already have been doing. Tweaking here and there I guess especially in the beginning.

*Freedom- I've had some freedom for a while now after going on a break from the 'corporate' world in 2014. I know I will encounter a 'shock' of some sort when my recently acquired freedom will cease to exist for another 5 years. Someone will depend on me 24/7 again- clinging to me and depending on me for everything small and big. I will have to activate that extra 'sense' and mother's instinct overdrive again. It's a different extra 'sense' when there is a newborn involved, and a different one with a school age child I think. I need to be 'extra sensitive' again as a mum. If that makes sense.

*Physically- I expect to be more tired (yet again). I will have 3 people to look after, after all! And a house to keep, meals to prepare, etc! I will need to get that extra vitamin boost I think!

*Emotionally- As with all births there is an emotional and hormonal change happening immediately and sometimes not so immediate after delivery. I would have to be open to the change that would follow the physical change happening with the family. New dynamics within our family would take place and learned.

*Time Management- I hope to be able to manage my time better with a new little one. I know the mistakes I have committed when our first was born and hopefully I would have learned how to go about with better this time around! I have to think strategically and think up ways to save me precious time!

*Effort- This would be a big change. If in the past I could wing it here and there, I guess having another little person would mean I would have to be wiser in my efforts and choosing priorities.

*Priorities- Linked with everything above I would have to adjust my mindset and choose my priorities wisely. Obviously it would be good to have some sort of income coming in while I am on leave caring for the new little one, but I should have that same focus when we had our first born where I could anticipate how she was feeling even before she felt it. And I have to be ahead of the game once again.

Oh the life as a parent- as a mum! Always full of challenges, changes and planning involved!

Turning 2

So our little B is turning 2 next month! Just a quick update on where we are at:

- Communicating: Little B is a chatterbox, and she's mastered counting to 10 without fail. She's learning to sing the alphabet (oh so cute when she gets to M: she says Eminem Oh P).
- School: We are starting pre-school in February! Just 4 hours, twice a week.
- Breastfeeding: Oh, we are still at it!!
- Sleeping: Still co-sleeping in this household!
- Social Skills: She is becoming a PRO (public relations officer).. She comes into the playground saying "Hi" to everyone.. And, whilst playing she welcomes new "playfriends" by handing them over a piece of seedling! I just hope and pray she won't fall into a bad stranger's trap one day.....
- Eating: Still not a big eater at breakfast,lunch or dinner. But she loves her sweet snacks.. Chocolate, Ice Cream.. Anything sweet! Wonder who she got that from!! Hmm!!

Feeding past 15 months

Just a random, seemingly selfish post on feeding past 15 months. I might overshare, bear with me!

My little girl just passed the 15 month mark this month, and so that means it has been that long that I have been exclusively breastfeeding her! (And I don't mean expressing milk into a bottle - coz she's never drank from a bottle!) I feel quite proud and happy to have gone this long and this far in terms of providing for her needs, whims and wants for over a year now. I know a lot of times, we are comfort feeding but that is part of the whole bonding experience, I think. Slowly, we have been trying to wean. It's been a good 3-4 months that I have tried to. But, a few things have cropped up and so I am not trying to force wean her at all .. we traveled solo a couple of times, she got confined due to a possible asthma allergy.. The latter being a big reason why I decide to just go on .. at the hospital, the only thing that comforted her was her num nums, when she could barely drink/eat anything. She couldn't say what she felt so feeding her was the best thing me and hubby could do. I told myself that I would breastfeed until she could talk to say if she was in pain, or at least start to wean when she could talk properly. Even if it means, she would be extra clingy for a bit longer.

We are still co-sleeping her, only for another few months I hope, so she's got easy access to her milk at night. Meaning, it has been a long, too long a time that I haven't had decent straight sleep. Just the same as the fact that I haven't had a proper glass of wine in ages! Probably over two years now! (count including pregnancy). The most I have had would be ten sips of wine (but not while preggo, and not in her first six months)... Books/Research say it's okay to have a glass of alcohol, right after feeding, but I always wanted to just play it safe. There are days (or nights!) when I feel I want to indulge in a couple of glasses, but I've managed to be good and sleep it off. I can delay the gratification with the anticipation that I will have half a bottle one day when we have weaned.

A good habit/outcome to still feeding this long means that I have been trying to eat healthy for this long now. Early on, I would be mindful of eating too much peanut butter, milk, etc. As I noticed she was having runny poos then. Nowadays I am not as careful, as her digestive system is a bit more mature now. Though, I still try to eat lots of greens, and drink lots of liquid. I never really developed the habit of eating malunggay capsules as I found my sister was intolerant of it, so I may also be. I found that I still managed to keep my milk supply up - perhaps, it's the great demand that kept it up!

I talk about weaning, with the reference to little B, but actually a lot of the weaning is also on my part. Believe it or not, I have started to feel sad sometimes with the thought of stopping our special bonding. I've even resorted to capturing a few snaps of our silent moments, just the two of us, in our weird feeding positions! Haha.

Sometimes, the thought of feeding another child, our second child when that happens... comes to mind.. whether I am able to feed as long, or whether I will have the same patience for it when the time comes. Feeding for 15 months has not been all easy - taxing on my body, my patience at times. Not that I don't enjoy it, because I do. But just like anyone we have 'trying' days, when she would bite me every time, when she would whinge and demand that I carry and feed her while doing my chores. Sometimes even, I have to multi task so much that I end up with a really painful back. Sacrifice and love. At the end of it all, prevails.

In between cakes

Oh yes, I have been busy lately. I have baked numerous cakes, cupcakes, mini cakes, muffins, bread, etc. Since my last entry my sister has visited me, stayed for a good month and left. And, my other sister has arrived and leaves next week. So, yes I have been busy. Baby B is still a baby, and we are enjoying quality time with aunts. I wish I can have them stay here for good. SOON, I hope and pray my sister would decide to relocate to Sydney just so we'll have family here and would no longer consider going to Manila for good. (But then again, who knows?!)

This week I am attending a travel agent's workshop for my business and I am hoping to start my own soon thereafter. *Cross fingers* With an infant in tow it will be hard to start my business and even the workshop on it's own is a challenge. My hubby is taking the day off from work so he can stay with bub outside my workshop. So I can still feed Baby on demand. Oh, and we would be checking in into the hotel where my workshop is held.. Ah life. Adjustments with a baby. No complaints. Just adjustments.

I hope to update this blog again soon. For now, it's back to baking. Oh and feeding.

Half Year

In two weeks time I would have been not working for six months already! I cannot believe how quick that's been. It seems only like yesterday I was filing my maternity leave application....

Where did time go?

Well, surely it happened in between my early morning feeds, staring at my little one, celebrating bella's first month, second month, etc., manila trip, bella's christening, hot summer days, cool afternoon autumn strolls, and countless baby photos and videos of our bub... There have been a lot of milestones in between then and now, a huge collage of events both trivial and memorable.. We are halfway through 2010, and I am just wondering what the remainder of the year will bring.

Attempting again..

For the Nth time, I am attempting to make an entry! :)

I have given birth already about a month ago, bubba is 4 1/2 weeks now....... a GIRL! We've named her Bella. Not that I am a fan of the Twilight series. Neither is hubby a fan. I actually have not watched the movie/s yet. Nor have I read the book. I'll post the story behind her name in my other, more personalised blog. (Message me if you want the link!)

So far, I have had no decent sleep.. longest is about 3 hours straight! I try to catch some zzs during the daytime when I can and she is asleep.

So much has happened between a week before I gave birth, up until .. well, now. Short story: Was in the hospital for 12 days in total before/after giving birth. A few complications again, before and after birth.. All good now, though! I still have to fully recover, with my massive blood loss, but aside from mumma dramas, bub is well and good and healthy and heavy! Hehe.

I have been trying to find out how to restore my time/date stamp onto this blog but for some odd and annoying reason I can't seem to.. *sigh*

I will be back for more .. that is, I hope at least before we head off to Manila! (Oh yes, to add excitement to my already exciting life!)

So heavy!

I've got about 3 and a half weeks left before I pop, and I am feeling so heavy and immobile. It's quite a challenge to leave the house and run my errands such as my Christmas and baby things shopping. I've done a lot of online shopping which is okay and convenient, but not as great to see things live and get to take it home straight away! But with the heat, and the weight I don't really have a choice. I did sneak out to buy some of our friends' gifts in the city.. and just took a cab home amidst 31 degree heat! I so loved the cool aircon inside the cab! I immediately had some ice cream when I got home just to cool me off :)

Finally!

After months, long hours, sleepless nights .. I managed to order the major furnitures for baby's room!! :) So very glad. Am happy, I got to order all that I wanted. And, it will be delivered in three days!
There are a few other pieces that I ordered .. I can't find decent photos of them. Hopefully I get to post a picture of the nursery once it's all done! Am so excited!!

My positive list

Being pregnant is not all negative. In fact, if one really weighs it all, there would be so much more positive things about being pregnant. The gift of life leads the positive list, plus the fact that one does not need any of those breast implants especially at this time. However, of course one should still go and do research if one really wants longer lasting enhancements.

I know my husband can’t wait to see our little bub as much as he wants my bodily function to go back to normal post pregnancy. I guess he is tired of doing the dishes, laundry, bathroom cleaning, carpet cleaning, taking trash out, and all other things that I can’t help with. Well, I think it’s just fair enough since he didn’t do the carrying for 9 months anyway! One thing is for sure, we are both excited to hold our baby in our arms, and go on adventure trips, go on picnics, all these among many other activities we are now ready to plan!

Everyone loves a buntis

Okay, we are slow walkers most of the time, we do get too emotional too often, we can bit quite helpless in carrying heavy things, but you still can’t resist the charm of a pregnant lady! People get up on the bus to accommodate and give seats, chairs are vacated to allow us to be seated, doors/elevators/etc are being held for us, priority is given when queuing, and these are not all the things that preggy women enjoy. There are more. But hey, we have our uncomfortable moments when we are at home in bed at night, and can’t sleep, when we suffer for morning sickness every day for three months, when we can’t see our toes when walking, can’t eat the usual food we want to, when we grow fat and stay that way for a while, when we pant at every step up the stairs. Not to mention the headache galore, dizziness, swollen hands and feet, stretch marks, dark skin patches, and other unexpected things.

Oh well, at the moment, am at the stage where ‘everyone loves a pregnant woman’. Soon, it will be ‘everyone loves a cute little baby’ stage. Hehe. I can’t wait!

(Photo credit:http://www.flickr.com/photos/97445131@N00/250736277/)

Less than 2 months to go

This year's gone so fast. I can't believe I've got 58 days to go (according to my ticker) before we actually have a baby to hold in our arms. Amazing. Time flew by so quickly with a miracle growing inside my belly. It still really hasn't sunk in that I will be a mum soon, and hubby will be a dad. We still have a lot to do in terms of fixing the nursery (I feel guilty). Perhaps if I wasn't studying I would have been able to finish the nursery project by now... :( I guess we still have time anyway. I am meant to finish my last subject within this week or in about a week and a half (depends if I have to do a supp exam!)..

This weekend hubby and I are celebrating our 1st wedding anniversary! We were meant to go on an overnight at Sir Stamford on Circular Quay (with my agent discount almost free!!) but then I was insistent to do it on our anniversary date which falls on a monday. Hubby wanted to go on the weekend, but the hotel (or other hotels) didn't have a good agent rate! So! We would just have a special lunch (I'm tired by dinner e!) at a secret place on the weekend. Then on our actualy anniversary, we are going to have an ultrasound to see baby! The doctor referred us because so far baby is still in breech position. We may even see the gender, well if we ask. Or maybe not. Hehe.

Stroller Crazy

Okay, I never realised that there were so many different types of strollers out there! In a lot of ways it is overwhelming, and I am sure all first time moms out there will agree. I have been doing a lot of research on this product, and there are just so many stroller reviews to read which give information about the differences and find out which one best suits one’s lifestyle or need. Sometimes I find myself staying up late trying to decide which one is best for me and husband (more for me really). Although my mom said she will bring me two relatively new strollers (my sister has just given birth) from Manila when she comes over when the baby comes out, I am still wanting to find out for myself about stroller safety and the best features one can get out of the pram. Luckily my friend has given my tips on what to look for, and what could work for me. She has also given me a link to a really good website about strollers! Really, there should be a comprehensive handbook on motherhood and a twenty four hours hotline for mothers! I can only wish! For now, that hotline is my own mother.

Last Stretch

Am on my last stretch doing a lot of things at the moment..

- I am finishing up doing my last subject at uni !! And then I graduate !!

- Working my last month at work before I go on maternity leave !!

- Of course, waiting for baby to arrive in 2 months time !! Preparing so many things for this!

I guess no matter how much I have tried to plan things, and be in control, I could only prepare so much. With the way things are winding up/winding down now, it couldn't have happened any more perfect. Things are falling into place, and at the right time. I am being taught so many things in life this final quarter of 2009. Plan one's share, and leave the rest to God.

Photo credit : www.flickr.com/photos/localandbitter/380313730/

Guess the baby's gender!?

To find out? Or not?

A month ago hubby and I went for my 19 week scan (ultrasound), and it is normally at that time in the pregnancy that one can find out the gender of the baby.

At work, people were volunteering their opinion about whether to find out the gender or not. Some of them were really old school and have said that for the first baby in the family, it is best to keep it a SURPRISE! I know two of the ladies who recently gave birth left the gender unknown until delivery day. It is pretty exciting I suppose. If you can stand to wait that long and not find out!!

A few other people have been asking me about the gender of our baby. Especially my Filipino friends :) I know in Manila, almost everyone finds out the gender as soon as it is possible! I don't think I know anyone who's opted to keep it a surprise.

Anyway, as of the moment, it is 50-50 still. Possibly a baby ballerina girl, or maybe a soccer playing boy. Months before the 19-week scan I was partial in wanting to find out baby's gender. Part of me wanted to go old school and not find out (hubby was fine whatever I decided on)... And then on the day of the scan, at the very last minute I asked the U/S technician. She said she thinks baby is a girl. As she couldn't see anything in between the legs. But then again, she did not want to confirm. She went on and said it could be a boy, and that she was unsure. SO there. Still 50-50. Unless the technician was really just playing safe.

Now, now, now... we still don't know really. Soon, we have to start baby shopping seriously and we will have to stick with the neutral colours... whites, yellows, light greens, baby blues. Honestly, I am not that fussed now to find out. I don't know when the next scan is. I might ask again if baby is in a better angle. Or, I might not ask. We'll see. Either way, hubby and I will be happy for as long as baby is healthy and normal.

Would you go old school and not find out baby's gender?

Good nights sleep

Every pregnant woman knows how challenging it can be every night to find a good sleeping position. It helps if one invests in a good mattress, with the help of the bed experts one can find solace in sleepy nights. I wish we had consulted an expert when we bought our mattress. I thought I wanted a soft cushion but I just realized I really want a sturdy and firm mattress. For now, I will have to settle with really nice and comfortable pillows. I do hope they sell maternity pillows at the baby show that hubby and I are attending tomorrow.

Still undecided

I still haven’t found a place to spend a week long ‘babymoon’ with hubby. Initially I wanted to travel about six hours north, and spend some time along the coast. But then given my bigger bump now, I am thinking it could be too long a ride for me. Maybe a maximum of three hours road trip would be fine. Perhaps we could save budget perth hotels for next time, and instead settle to choose from cheap hotels Sydney cbd. I guess just really a few days away to spend quality time as parents to be would be what we are after.

A few months ago I watched this travel show where some hotels do offer special babymoon packages. Some of these packages even included a massage treatment specifically for pregnant women! Writing about this makes me so excited to plan this getaway! I am sure whatever we decide on we will have a great time.

Day dreaming again

Yesterday hubby and I talked about home plans. In a few months we are expanding our family and so we will need a much larger home space. We are both looking at starting our respective home businesses as well, thus the need for house plans that would accommodate our arrangement. Since we were in the mood to talk about our dreams and goals, we drew in air our luxury dream home plans. We talked about a four bedroom, three levels home (complete with a family room basement), spacious garden and a gazebo in the backyard. Hubby told me he does not want to raise our kid in an apartment unit, while I on the other hand always lived in an apartment or townhouse so I don’t mind.

Since our rental contract will be expiring in a month’s time, we were thinking of renewing only for half a year before moving onto a new place. I can’t believe I have moved so much in a span of six years! This will be my sixth move in six years! Hopefully only two more moves for us until we settle into our real home.

Babymoon Getaway

I have been researching again about going on a holiday! This morning as I got to my desk at work hubby called asking if we could go on a week long or two weeks getaway. I was so surprised I actually encouraged him to tell me what sort of holiday he was after. I was trying to get him to say he wanted an inclusive Jamaica package of some sort, since I know this is the way to go nowadays! Inclusive and exclusive all the way! He said we couldn’t really afford to go on a two week break to stay at Ocho Rios hotels, or any of those caribbean hotels for that matter. He said he was looking at going local only. Oh well, as if I could really travel very far with my baby bump!

Although we have decided we needed a bit of a break (our last decent holiday was in December last year!), we are unsure when and where. I have given hubby a number of brochures this evening and obviously he was overwhelmed. I do hope we push through with this much needed vacation. It would also be a good way to spend quality time, since in a few months for sure we would be busy with our new baby!

Alive n Kicking!

I've been feeling faint flutters from the little one the past week and a half. I am now 18 weeks preggo and feeling a LOT better. No more morning sickness for me. Although I am still trying to adjust to eating a lot. Coz, for some reason even if I eat and eat, my weight does not increase that much if at all. They say that's okay, even my doc says so. Since I've been having more veggies and healthy snacks instead of the chocolates and chips. Although, I must say, I've been having a lot of ice cream recently (coz I crush my vitamins and mix it with that!).

A lot of things have happened between the last time I wrote here. Attended a wedding, had my citizenship oathtaking (YEY!), developed unknown rashes, decided to have baby in Manila, and then, decided to have it here instead. And, so finally, we are having the baby here. I have booked into the hospital and will be having an appointment in a week and a bit's time. It just makes a lot of sense to have it here, for practicality's sake. It would not cost us a thing to have it here, I would still be able to maximise my work time (work til maybe mid-December), not have to have baby travel back to Sydney when I give birth, etc.

Weight concerns

I've gained the 2kgs that I lost early on, but now I am back to 3kgs less. I never though I would be this concerned about my weight. Gaining it! Although people say that it is not that unusual to be losing weight early in the pregnancy. I know why I'm not gaining any kgs. I don't have a great appetite now, and when I want to eat, I cannot get the food that I want! I really wish my sister would come and visit me so that I have someone to cook for me. Even for a while. She could possibly whip up my makati supermarket spaghetti.

I want my appetite back!!