School break

I'm super delighted that hubby has taken some time off during this school break so that I can (have 'me' time) do some work (and more research on wampler, check it out at MusiciansFriend.com among other things). So far I have ticked a few from my to do list and hopefully this momentum continues for the next 10 days! I have picked up a new racket from home and I am super excited to get more work from this new supplier. 

On the other hand, I have also scheduled a jam packed couple of weeks for the kids. Some of the ones that excite me are: treasure hunt at the park, winter wonderland festival, pajama party, robotics class, a couple of playdates and a few trips to the library! I am also hoping to spend some time with hubby. It has been a long time since we have gone out on a date. Although nowadays our date means movie nights on the couch - that's pretty much it. Sad. Haha. But really, I guess just to spend time with each other and talk about everything else other than kids is the bonding time we need.

Me Time

The past couple of weeks, I've had my much needed (and wanted) me time. The most I've had since a very long time - I don't even remember when the last 'real' one was.

Hopefully I get more of these times so I can refresh myself from my mummy duties and just be me. I have been wanting to tidy up my office space, clean up my clutter, research on  https://www.guitarcenter.com/ as well as just catch up on sleep! I know this special time is important, even if I don't want to (yeah right!). Lately I have been feeling that I am not worth more than the other members of the family - and that what I want is not important. It feels like my waking (and even sleeping!) time is consumed by following my little family's whim. This may sound harsh, but coming from a mum that is on call 24 hours every day - for a long time now - I guess it is pretty real. I am just thankful that now I am able to reclaim a bit of me back.

When the kids are older

Sometimes I find myself daydreaming about getting my life back - when the kids are older. Although part of me, of course, wants time to stop them from growing up too fast. However, part of me also wants to enjoy them already (and get a bit of me time, too!). At the moment, my time management skills are super messed up, my organising skills are nearly non-existent. The house is usually a mess, my under eyes are the darkest shade ever, hubby sleeps in a different room - while myself and the kids in ours, we can't travel long drives as the little one hates car rides... the list goes on about what a having a young family entails. But I love it in a lot of ways than one. But for now, I am indulging in my daydream. Fast forward to 4 years from now. The little ones in school, and I am back to earning some moolah - contributing to our family funds (oooh and that BIG Trip in 4 years!).

Sometimes I daydream about:

- Having the Christmas tree decors properly put - and stay put for the duration of the holiday period! (at the moment, for the past 6 years - our eldest puts up the decors first - then I put them back up tidy-er).

- Sleeping in!!!! Weekends are a must, and maybe one or two mornings during the week too!
Ok, even just a proper full sleep. My last proper sleep was in 2008!!!!!

- Do my own thing in the toilet and shower - alone - without it being a whole family affair!

- Cooking because I want to, and because I enjoy it - rather than rushing to cook and feed the brood.
Oh, and cooking with both my arms/hands free. (Nowadays, I have a permanent back and side pain coz I carry little L while I cook - while I clean, while I do a LOT of things) (With one hand).

- Just do nothing. And have time to be bored. (Nowadays, I rarely have that quiet 'me' time where I don't have to think of too many things all at once). (I usually rush things because I sneak 'me' time in between the little one's naps)

- Do something uninterrupted.

- Have 'me' time during the day!!! (Nowadays 'me' time happens late at night when the kids are asleep) (I end up falling asleep too on some nights!)

- I want to travel more. With the family. But also, sneak in a getaway with my girlfriends who I haven't seen in ages!

- Make a weekly menu - and stick to it! (Not be too tired midweek to follow through what my menu says)

- Go on a date with hubby. (I am not comfortable leaving our little one with my sister to babysit - until maybe she's about 4 years old).

- Have time to properly groom myself (have time to be meticulous about my face, hair, clothes, etc). Nowadays, this is always rushed - so I only get to do the basics (if I am lucky!).

I am sure I can think of a lot more. For now, these are what comes to mind. One day!

http://www.lamamaonline.com/secondary.asp?id=1110&print=true

Mummyhood Tips

As much as I try to keep a balanced life, I cannot seem to perfect time my time management with all the different things I do. I really wish I could just stop working for 5 years straight, so I can concentrate on the little one. But of course that's not financially viable.

I often read tips on these topics, motherhood, working mums, work at home mums, etc etc etc.. But, in reality it is so much more difficult to practice. *sigh*

Sometimes I wish I had household help to clean after me, that way I could focus my energy on teaching the little one, going to the park with her, enjoying our quality time. Patiently.

My hubby always reminds me that it would only be a few years before she grows up and I would get my "personal" life back... Sometimes I wish I could speed time up, as I am aching and craving to have some me time. I would like to be able to go to the toilet, or have a bath in peace. Or, take a quick lunch (at the moment, our lunch time is 30 minutes. minimum.). I've always been a very, very patient person. I think I am one of the most patient persons I know :) But I find myself sometimes, admittedly, getting impatient. I guess that's how it is when she is "attached" to me day in day out, no matter whether I am working, eating, sleeping, taking a shower, cooking, etc. I should be flattered. I know. But human nature gets the better of me. I get tired too.

Feeding past 15 months

Just a random, seemingly selfish post on feeding past 15 months. I might overshare, bear with me!

My little girl just passed the 15 month mark this month, and so that means it has been that long that I have been exclusively breastfeeding her! (And I don't mean expressing milk into a bottle - coz she's never drank from a bottle!) I feel quite proud and happy to have gone this long and this far in terms of providing for her needs, whims and wants for over a year now. I know a lot of times, we are comfort feeding but that is part of the whole bonding experience, I think. Slowly, we have been trying to wean. It's been a good 3-4 months that I have tried to. But, a few things have cropped up and so I am not trying to force wean her at all .. we traveled solo a couple of times, she got confined due to a possible asthma allergy.. The latter being a big reason why I decide to just go on .. at the hospital, the only thing that comforted her was her num nums, when she could barely drink/eat anything. She couldn't say what she felt so feeding her was the best thing me and hubby could do. I told myself that I would breastfeed until she could talk to say if she was in pain, or at least start to wean when she could talk properly. Even if it means, she would be extra clingy for a bit longer.

We are still co-sleeping her, only for another few months I hope, so she's got easy access to her milk at night. Meaning, it has been a long, too long a time that I haven't had decent straight sleep. Just the same as the fact that I haven't had a proper glass of wine in ages! Probably over two years now! (count including pregnancy). The most I have had would be ten sips of wine (but not while preggo, and not in her first six months)... Books/Research say it's okay to have a glass of alcohol, right after feeding, but I always wanted to just play it safe. There are days (or nights!) when I feel I want to indulge in a couple of glasses, but I've managed to be good and sleep it off. I can delay the gratification with the anticipation that I will have half a bottle one day when we have weaned.

A good habit/outcome to still feeding this long means that I have been trying to eat healthy for this long now. Early on, I would be mindful of eating too much peanut butter, milk, etc. As I noticed she was having runny poos then. Nowadays I am not as careful, as her digestive system is a bit more mature now. Though, I still try to eat lots of greens, and drink lots of liquid. I never really developed the habit of eating malunggay capsules as I found my sister was intolerant of it, so I may also be. I found that I still managed to keep my milk supply up - perhaps, it's the great demand that kept it up!

I talk about weaning, with the reference to little B, but actually a lot of the weaning is also on my part. Believe it or not, I have started to feel sad sometimes with the thought of stopping our special bonding. I've even resorted to capturing a few snaps of our silent moments, just the two of us, in our weird feeding positions! Haha.

Sometimes, the thought of feeding another child, our second child when that happens... comes to mind.. whether I am able to feed as long, or whether I will have the same patience for it when the time comes. Feeding for 15 months has not been all easy - taxing on my body, my patience at times. Not that I don't enjoy it, because I do. But just like anyone we have 'trying' days, when she would bite me every time, when she would whinge and demand that I carry and feed her while doing my chores. Sometimes even, I have to multi task so much that I end up with a really painful back. Sacrifice and love. At the end of it all, prevails.

Thanks to all sticker companies!

I must be on vacation ... 3 blog posts in one day! Let alone one morning! :) I am taking the half day off from work.

The little girl is dismantling stickers from her sticker book.. and sticking them.. on my leg !! Well, it keeps her entertained and busy. Lately, it's been all about stickers. I never realised these sticky things had magic! The size or shape does not matter (for now).

I can attest to their powers. Stickers kept the little girl busy --
... on our 7 1/2 hour day flight. She stuck them onto the airplane walls.
... hourly sunday mass.
... doctor visit, while waiting in clinics.
... while waiting for our food at restos.
... on the trolley cart while I do the grocery run - she would stick and unstick those brand stickers on fruits!
... pretty much anywhere.

Most of the time she un-sticks them and hands them over to me. For me to stick back onto the wall/chair/fruit/etc.

I now have added a pad of sticker in my bag :) In case of emergency.

Simple joy! :)

My mind is filled with post its

I cannot believe I almost forgot my blogger password! It's been that long since I've visited this page. Unintentionally. Really.

So, at the moment, my mind is filled with post it reminders and notes and lots of other important things, and not important ones too. Blogging for a while was just at the bottom of that long long list. But I've missed jotting my thoughts down. Really.

I don't even know where to begin now. I'm a clutterbug with random thoughts going on in my head. Now.

Where do I begin?

I suppose I wanted to make an entry entitled things I learned during my first year as a mum, but I doubt I can make an entry with a logical and chronological wave of thought.... So, I should probably just blurt my thoughts out in one go.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Little B turned ONE a day before we headed off to Manila for a two week (turned three and a half weeks) holiday..... I am now a mum to a toddler! No longer a novice at this motherhood phase of my life .. but definitely not yet an expert...

... There is never enough time in a day to do all the things I have to do, things I want to do, and things I am supposed to do .... Well, there is not even enough days in the week to accomplish it all!

... I now know what people mean when they say that a child grows up too quick, and time flies. It really does. Amazing.

... A child will always take up most of your time, whether they are newborn, 6 months, 13 months, etc. They will always demand your time. No matter what time of the day.

... At 13 months after the birth of our child, our house is still a mess. Not because we don't have the time to clean it. We don't have the energy to.

... Breastfeeding is most difficult during the first month. At 13 months on, I can do this in my sleep. Effortless.

... It is essential, important, necessary to nurture the relationship with my husband! It takes a big effort to, on both our side, but that is part of the whole dynamics with a baby.

... Taking a night flight with a toddler is as difficult as doing a day flight. It's just a matter of getting comfy on the plane with the sleepy baby on your lap, or an active baby trying to run around the aircraft. Either way, it's a challenge.

... Grandparents will always spoil grandkids. That's their role.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In about six hours I will have to get up, so I have to get some zzzs. As much as I would love to babble on. I can't. Physically am drained.

Work has been taking up a lot of my time. Working from home is even more difficult than working from outside the home. I am looking at putting B into occasional child care. At least 2 hours a week. I guess it would be good for her to be mingling with other people. As much as it would be good for me to learn to let go. Slowly. It would be good. Both ways.

Growing up

Last year just when I was coming off from my previous employer I was caught off guard about the income protection insurance I had subscribed to. It did not cover maternity reasons. I suppose I should have read the fine print and must have taken note of this. One good thing that that experience has brought me is that I pay more attention to details as such. Since then, I have taken out a few things (medical insurance, membership and other contract agreement) at which I have made sure I read all points, headings, sub headings and fine print at least three times. I also asked the other party when I had questions relating to the service or product I was subscribing to. I can now proudly say that I am better at it, and more confident in asking relevant questions! I suppose that is part of growing up. Learning from previous experiences and moving on.
Speaking of growing up, I cannot believe my little one just passed the nine months mark! She is growing too fast, and learning so many new things! I am glad that the Australian dollar to US dollar conversion is good now, so I can do more toy shopping for the little girl!

Ideally this would be me

Ya, ya ya, the picture I wish was me working at home. Poised, composed, neat.

But not!

Since officially starting work at home last week, I have been calm, but not poised. The house is a mess. I guess I am just about to make my (our) routine. Not as easy. A baby does not have the best routine. But I suppose that should not throw me off my goal. Working from home would work, and I will make sure it does.

Although it means being able to time my calls in B's good, silent moods. Checking and replying to emails quickly. Doing my research with one hand feeding B, while the other is typing away.

Well of course this only happens in the beginning. Things will be better. Before I know it the little one is not so little anymore, and I would have mastered the art of juggling my time. For now, I look at the photo above and feel hopeful that everything is possible. After all, (its my secret) I am supermom! Hahaha!

In between cakes

Oh yes, I have been busy lately. I have baked numerous cakes, cupcakes, mini cakes, muffins, bread, etc. Since my last entry my sister has visited me, stayed for a good month and left. And, my other sister has arrived and leaves next week. So, yes I have been busy. Baby B is still a baby, and we are enjoying quality time with aunts. I wish I can have them stay here for good. SOON, I hope and pray my sister would decide to relocate to Sydney just so we'll have family here and would no longer consider going to Manila for good. (But then again, who knows?!)

This week I am attending a travel agent's workshop for my business and I am hoping to start my own soon thereafter. *Cross fingers* With an infant in tow it will be hard to start my business and even the workshop on it's own is a challenge. My hubby is taking the day off from work so he can stay with bub outside my workshop. So I can still feed Baby on demand. Oh, and we would be checking in into the hotel where my workshop is held.. Ah life. Adjustments with a baby. No complaints. Just adjustments.

I hope to update this blog again soon. For now, it's back to baking. Oh and feeding.

Teaching the little one

The little one is now nearly 4 months old! We are trying to teach her to use the bottle, but she is just not responding to the well known brands (avent and tommy tippee). It's good we went to the baby expo and found Dr. Browns' bottle! She is sort of liking it and chewing on the teat (i guess that's better than nothing!). Too bad we only bought one set, which was a real bargain. Imagine A$3 for the entire bottle set (60mls). Wish we bought more, but of course we weren't sure if she would like it so we got one instead. I really wish she could learn to drink from the bottle. But then again, part of me wants to continue breastfeeding for as long as I can, and I am so attached to her now (figuratively and literally). Dad and I have noticed that Bella is also undergoing separation anxiety. She cries when she cannot see me, and she really prefers to be carried by me and me alone. This would have been fine by me, but it keeps me handicapped most of the time. The house is a mess, I can't run errands, etc. How I wish I could just keep her close to me all the time but it will be for her benefit as well for her to learn to be just a litttttle bit independent and more trusting of others too. By others I mean her dad.

Now now, since my family is visiting us soon, I should get more of those Dr. Browns bottles! I wish I can still get a good deal even after the baby expo. Oh, it is worth checking out how cool the bottle system is (inetrnal vent). No drips on the side, and apparently less colicky baby!

Attempting again..

For the Nth time, I am attempting to make an entry! :)

I have given birth already about a month ago, bubba is 4 1/2 weeks now....... a GIRL! We've named her Bella. Not that I am a fan of the Twilight series. Neither is hubby a fan. I actually have not watched the movie/s yet. Nor have I read the book. I'll post the story behind her name in my other, more personalised blog. (Message me if you want the link!)

So far, I have had no decent sleep.. longest is about 3 hours straight! I try to catch some zzs during the daytime when I can and she is asleep.

So much has happened between a week before I gave birth, up until .. well, now. Short story: Was in the hospital for 12 days in total before/after giving birth. A few complications again, before and after birth.. All good now, though! I still have to fully recover, with my massive blood loss, but aside from mumma dramas, bub is well and good and healthy and heavy! Hehe.

I have been trying to find out how to restore my time/date stamp onto this blog but for some odd and annoying reason I can't seem to.. *sigh*

I will be back for more .. that is, I hope at least before we head off to Manila! (Oh yes, to add excitement to my already exciting life!)

So heavy!

I've got about 3 and a half weeks left before I pop, and I am feeling so heavy and immobile. It's quite a challenge to leave the house and run my errands such as my Christmas and baby things shopping. I've done a lot of online shopping which is okay and convenient, but not as great to see things live and get to take it home straight away! But with the heat, and the weight I don't really have a choice. I did sneak out to buy some of our friends' gifts in the city.. and just took a cab home amidst 31 degree heat! I so loved the cool aircon inside the cab! I immediately had some ice cream when I got home just to cool me off :)

Banana Bread Recipe

I am soo excited to go on maternity leave. I will finally be able to concentrate doing the nursery, clean the apartment, put up our Christmas tree, and maybe even try baking this banana bread. I've been meaning to try really....


BANANA BREAD (from Taste.com.au)

Preparation Time 10 minutes

Cooking Time 45 minutes

Makes 10-12 slices

Ingredients
1 cup (150g) plain flour
1/2 cup (75g) self-raising flour
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon
125g butter, melted, cooled
2 eggs, whisked
3 ripe bananas, mashed
Method
Preheat oven to 180°C. Grease and line the base and side of an 11 x 21cm x 6cm deep (base) loaf pan.
Combine flours, sugar and cinnamon in a large bowl. Whisk butter and eggs together. Stir in banana. Spoon into prepared pan. Smooth the surface.
Bake for 45-50 mins or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean. Set aside in the pan for 10 mins before turning out onto a wire rack. Serve warm spread with butter.

My positive list

Being pregnant is not all negative. In fact, if one really weighs it all, there would be so much more positive things about being pregnant. The gift of life leads the positive list, plus the fact that one does not need any of those breast implants especially at this time. However, of course one should still go and do research if one really wants longer lasting enhancements.

I know my husband can’t wait to see our little bub as much as he wants my bodily function to go back to normal post pregnancy. I guess he is tired of doing the dishes, laundry, bathroom cleaning, carpet cleaning, taking trash out, and all other things that I can’t help with. Well, I think it’s just fair enough since he didn’t do the carrying for 9 months anyway! One thing is for sure, we are both excited to hold our baby in our arms, and go on adventure trips, go on picnics, all these among many other activities we are now ready to plan!

Everyone loves a buntis

Okay, we are slow walkers most of the time, we do get too emotional too often, we can bit quite helpless in carrying heavy things, but you still can’t resist the charm of a pregnant lady! People get up on the bus to accommodate and give seats, chairs are vacated to allow us to be seated, doors/elevators/etc are being held for us, priority is given when queuing, and these are not all the things that preggy women enjoy. There are more. But hey, we have our uncomfortable moments when we are at home in bed at night, and can’t sleep, when we suffer for morning sickness every day for three months, when we can’t see our toes when walking, can’t eat the usual food we want to, when we grow fat and stay that way for a while, when we pant at every step up the stairs. Not to mention the headache galore, dizziness, swollen hands and feet, stretch marks, dark skin patches, and other unexpected things.

Oh well, at the moment, am at the stage where ‘everyone loves a pregnant woman’. Soon, it will be ‘everyone loves a cute little baby’ stage. Hehe. I can’t wait!

(Photo credit:http://www.flickr.com/photos/97445131@N00/250736277/)

Less than 2 months to go

This year's gone so fast. I can't believe I've got 58 days to go (according to my ticker) before we actually have a baby to hold in our arms. Amazing. Time flew by so quickly with a miracle growing inside my belly. It still really hasn't sunk in that I will be a mum soon, and hubby will be a dad. We still have a lot to do in terms of fixing the nursery (I feel guilty). Perhaps if I wasn't studying I would have been able to finish the nursery project by now... :( I guess we still have time anyway. I am meant to finish my last subject within this week or in about a week and a half (depends if I have to do a supp exam!)..

This weekend hubby and I are celebrating our 1st wedding anniversary! We were meant to go on an overnight at Sir Stamford on Circular Quay (with my agent discount almost free!!) but then I was insistent to do it on our anniversary date which falls on a monday. Hubby wanted to go on the weekend, but the hotel (or other hotels) didn't have a good agent rate! So! We would just have a special lunch (I'm tired by dinner e!) at a secret place on the weekend. Then on our actualy anniversary, we are going to have an ultrasound to see baby! The doctor referred us because so far baby is still in breech position. We may even see the gender, well if we ask. Or maybe not. Hehe.

Stroller Crazy

Okay, I never realised that there were so many different types of strollers out there! In a lot of ways it is overwhelming, and I am sure all first time moms out there will agree. I have been doing a lot of research on this product, and there are just so many stroller reviews to read which give information about the differences and find out which one best suits one’s lifestyle or need. Sometimes I find myself staying up late trying to decide which one is best for me and husband (more for me really). Although my mom said she will bring me two relatively new strollers (my sister has just given birth) from Manila when she comes over when the baby comes out, I am still wanting to find out for myself about stroller safety and the best features one can get out of the pram. Luckily my friend has given my tips on what to look for, and what could work for me. She has also given me a link to a really good website about strollers! Really, there should be a comprehensive handbook on motherhood and a twenty four hours hotline for mothers! I can only wish! For now, that hotline is my own mother.

Getting all hormonal

Early this week I had a bit of a glitch in my system. At work I suddenly felt quite down for some reason. I was late for work by a few minutes and that made me feel bad. I also was not in for work the day before, and one of my colleagues said that one of my passengers' files had an issue with it. Those triggered something and I ended up having to excuse myself for a good 15 minutes to get myself composed again.

Now, watching all these videos about the horrible storm that has hit Manila yesterday, balls of tears are forming in my eyes. I am easily emotional, more than usual. I consider myself one of those generally happy people, and even while pregnant for that past 23 weeks I have been a happy 'buntis'. Only recently have I been getting these glitches, which I hope and pray won't last long as I am wanting a happy baby too! I feel for hubby who's asked me if it was him who made me cry the other time. He must be confused with my recent emotion swings.

I am trying to gather people to donate to Manila's flood victims and I am praying this move will make things better for those affected, even in a small way. God bless the Filipino.

Guess the baby's gender!?

To find out? Or not?

A month ago hubby and I went for my 19 week scan (ultrasound), and it is normally at that time in the pregnancy that one can find out the gender of the baby.

At work, people were volunteering their opinion about whether to find out the gender or not. Some of them were really old school and have said that for the first baby in the family, it is best to keep it a SURPRISE! I know two of the ladies who recently gave birth left the gender unknown until delivery day. It is pretty exciting I suppose. If you can stand to wait that long and not find out!!

A few other people have been asking me about the gender of our baby. Especially my Filipino friends :) I know in Manila, almost everyone finds out the gender as soon as it is possible! I don't think I know anyone who's opted to keep it a surprise.

Anyway, as of the moment, it is 50-50 still. Possibly a baby ballerina girl, or maybe a soccer playing boy. Months before the 19-week scan I was partial in wanting to find out baby's gender. Part of me wanted to go old school and not find out (hubby was fine whatever I decided on)... And then on the day of the scan, at the very last minute I asked the U/S technician. She said she thinks baby is a girl. As she couldn't see anything in between the legs. But then again, she did not want to confirm. She went on and said it could be a boy, and that she was unsure. SO there. Still 50-50. Unless the technician was really just playing safe.

Now, now, now... we still don't know really. Soon, we have to start baby shopping seriously and we will have to stick with the neutral colours... whites, yellows, light greens, baby blues. Honestly, I am not that fussed now to find out. I don't know when the next scan is. I might ask again if baby is in a better angle. Or, I might not ask. We'll see. Either way, hubby and I will be happy for as long as baby is healthy and normal.

Would you go old school and not find out baby's gender?