Creating circles

We all have our own circle of friends. Some we just fell into as we grew up.. We lived across the street from them, or we met them at school or at work. Some we've met through common friends, cousins, siblings, etc. Some of them we ended up being best friends with, or have dated once or twice..

But as we grow older, there are some circles we draw ourselves. We have a choice now. We don't just fall into these circle by accident, or because of our family. Living overseas makes it a challenge to build long lasting circles of friendships. However, when we do find that circle where we belong it forms our support group.

I find that I have always been the type of person who creates lots of circles. Admittedly, I don't always engage myself fully in each of them. Some circles are purely for circles sake. Some circles I have to maintain now, not just for me, but for my little one. The circles I put her in forms part of her. Without having cousins or siblings around, I endeavour to make her have meaningful circles. Relationships. Yes, those circles form our relationships. Only if we let them close enough to reach that level.

Photo from http://www.wallpaperhere.com/Nature/Other/Water_Drops_Circle_of_Life_72793

I am grateful for all my friendships especially those that have been through it all with me.

Teaching the little one

The little one is now nearly 4 months old! We are trying to teach her to use the bottle, but she is just not responding to the well known brands (avent and tommy tippee). It's good we went to the baby expo and found Dr. Browns' bottle! She is sort of liking it and chewing on the teat (i guess that's better than nothing!). Too bad we only bought one set, which was a real bargain. Imagine A$3 for the entire bottle set (60mls). Wish we bought more, but of course we weren't sure if she would like it so we got one instead. I really wish she could learn to drink from the bottle. But then again, part of me wants to continue breastfeeding for as long as I can, and I am so attached to her now (figuratively and literally). Dad and I have noticed that Bella is also undergoing separation anxiety. She cries when she cannot see me, and she really prefers to be carried by me and me alone. This would have been fine by me, but it keeps me handicapped most of the time. The house is a mess, I can't run errands, etc. How I wish I could just keep her close to me all the time but it will be for her benefit as well for her to learn to be just a litttttle bit independent and more trusting of others too. By others I mean her dad.

Now now, since my family is visiting us soon, I should get more of those Dr. Browns bottles! I wish I can still get a good deal even after the baby expo. Oh, it is worth checking out how cool the bottle system is (inetrnal vent). No drips on the side, and apparently less colicky baby!

Making my life easier

Recently I discovered online grocery shopping at Woolworth's HomeShop website. I usually like doing the grocery when I am not pressed for time, but sometimes it can be a painful chore. Especially when it's time to buy rice/detergent/etc (this can be gruesome taking it home-living without a car can do this). So now I have the option of doing my heavy shopping online, and have someone take it straight to our apartment! Another plus, is that I can just browse through weekly specials in one go. You know how while at the supermarket it can be overwhelming seeing all the stacks and shelves of goodies. One can easily miss out on things, or forget stuff to buy.

I love it that I can just click one button if I decide not to buy a certain item. I can even double the same item in one hit. Overall, I guess Homeshopshopping is just an alternative. Nothing beats the therapy of going through aisles and aisles of actual goodies.

Adult talk

Once upon a time, I had no interest in things that I thought only grown ups can comprehend. I
guess there were stuff that did not interest me at all, such as : bank time deposits, interest
rates, Van Insurance Quote, saving for rainy days, etc. But, sooner rather than later, I find
myself researching about these things. I particularly found a site that had numerous services
on auto insurances, with all the steps and explanations that I otherwise would not have known.
Somehow, I still need to check in with hubby that I understood what I was reading correctly. As
much as I am ashamed to admit, I know little about car stuff. Growing up, I only drove family
cars, and did nothing about maintenance, comprehensive insurance quotes, etcetera. Now, I have no choice! I have to learn all these things. The 'joys' of growing up and being an adult. I am
proud though, that I have mastered researching about term deposits. It's quite interesting, really. And, although the rates are down at the moment, I look forward to investing our money soon!! One can never really be too knowledgeable about these investment things. Which reminds me, I have to set a date with hubby to talk about our finances, plans, including holiday plans!

Cutting Corners

...is not at all the same as Cutting Cost.

I am just so annoyed with companies or management who would cut corners just to cut cost down. Oftentimes at the expense of quality. How annoying! My boyfriend and I talked about this particular big grocery chain in the middle of the city, who at 2 PM on a sunday afternoon had only one staff working on the till! And he was taking his time swiping and punching those numbers. Imagine the customer queue at that time. Took us a good 10 minutes just to buy that one bottle of water. There were other people in line who obviously were getting impatient too. This same thing happened to us last week as well. Same supermarket at about the same time. I would probably understand if it was a small town shop, but this was not one of those. Maybe they are wanting to lose their business to their competition a block away! Hmmm!

Can I borrow $25 Please?

I got this in the mail. Made me think twice about time and family. My boyfriend asked to borrow $5. Apparently he had $45 already!! Haha! But, really this is a very nice read.

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.
SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.
SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the
Man said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an Hour?'
DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'
The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish.... I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions.....How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' He asked. 'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man.
'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the
$25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' He yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father. 'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled..

Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied. !

'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

Do remember to share that ‘$50 worth of your time’ with someone you love.

Games kids and adults play!

There was a time when boyfriend and I were so into Apple Mac games. We would take turns playing jewel quest 3 for mac, and other times we’d try some new game, but we’d still end up playing jewel quest again later on. He even went to surf the internet to find a good mac blog how obsessed is that? I think once in a while we still get these moments when we act like kids taking turns playing computer games, or sometimes watching while the other plays! It’s probably one of the ways we bond, among the many other childlike activities we do (we used to play Daytona, the car racing arcade game!). He sometimes made me win, which I did not appreciate, because I would have stood a chance in beating him in the game anyway! We all have our own bonding activities with our partners. No matter how silly, playful, lame it may be, it brings us closer. Thank God for moments like these. When we’re old we’d probably either laugh it off, or try playing the computer games again!

Planning a divorce? Read this, and think again.

--I've received this realllly heart melting story. If you are contemplating about cheating on your partner, planning a divorce, or you just feel you need to rekindle your love, read this. It is long, but really nice.---

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now, I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah.. blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

The air we breathe

My family has tried a couple of air purifier machines at home. In Manila one would think this would work, but I am not sure if it really does. In Sydney, when I moved here, the family I lived with used air purifiers as well. One of the kids had asthma and the parents thought that by turning the machine on at night this would have the child avoid an asthma attack. The question are air cleaners safe really? It really depends on how one is convinced to use them at home, or whether the machines are used properly the way they are meant to be. For me, I think I don’t really mind not having it. I suppose it is all just about preference.

Things that I am thankful for

I have been blogging for a while now, and I can say that aside from it being therapeutic, it also makes one see the bigger picture in life, of one’s life. Really sometimes we can be engrossed with a particular topic, scenario or situation. At the end of the day, when you think about what you are thankful of, you write about things that you may or may not have otherwise thought of if you don’t put your thoughts down on black and white. Well, this is true in my case at least. I find myself communing with the big world of cyberspace, and yet I know it is just me in the room when I type my thoughts. I have found quite a few good websites which enriched me, either as a person or as a professional in the travel industry, through my endless searches and web surfs. I’ve come across people who share the same thoughts and ideals as myself, or those who live a life that I totally cannot relate to, but have composed entries in such a way that will make you want to stay and read on, or even hop back on to from time to time. Along the way I’ve seen and became a part of SocialSpark, which allowed me to connect to other fellow world wanderers. I’ve created my own profile under http://socialspark.com/bloggers/coriander-dreams which allows me to connect with other people that has access to this new blog trend.

On weddings, rumours and other stuff..

Human nature dictates that we be interested in other people's lives. Whether we pursue gossip, or whether we stumble upon other person's life information does not matter. Whether it be a showbiz goss or a friends' chismis.

The past weekend the Pitt Jolie wedding rumour proved to be something ordinary. This rumour has been going on for ages. But, anyway, George Clooney's denied the rumor. Oh well, if I had the same high profile I would probably just elope and do it. But then again, I am not a celebrity as such (well, just a bit!:)

Having said that, don't you just gleam when finding out that a friend's recently been engaged, or a neighbour's expecting a baby, or so and so friend's gotten married within six months of knowing the guy. Whatever the circumstance, finding out about other people's lives just make us forget briefly how imperfect (or perfect) our life is. Or, how boring or interesting our life is. What ever the reasons behind it, we are just really a sociable specie always watching out for entertainment : through other people's lives.

Each one of us am sure would have fallen into this trap. Either we are the object of gossip. Or engaging in gossip. For as long as we don't believe rumours without confirming, and for as long as we don't judge people when we find out more details of their personal lives, then this should be harmless. And it would be good if the gossip ends with us. (But this is rarely the case I know).

If you were Angelina Jolie how would you feel if your personal life was watched in scrutiny, all your moves and decisions? Pity those celebrities who live a lie by having to deal with criticising press on a daily basis. Surely there should be other ways to earn big $$. (?)