Just a random, seemingly selfish post on feeding past 15 months. I might overshare, bear with me!
My little girl just passed the 15 month mark this month, and so that means it has been that long that I have been exclusively breastfeeding her! (And I don't mean expressing milk into a bottle - coz she's never drank from a bottle!) I feel quite proud and happy to have gone this long and this far in terms of providing for her needs, whims and wants for over a year now. I know a lot of times, we are comfort feeding but that is part of the whole bonding experience, I think. Slowly, we have been trying to wean. It's been a good 3-4 months that I have tried to. But, a few things have cropped up and so I am not trying to force wean her at all .. we traveled solo a couple of times, she got confined due to a possible asthma allergy.. The latter being a big reason why I decide to just go on .. at the hospital, the only thing that comforted her was her num nums, when she could barely drink/eat anything. She couldn't say what she felt so feeding her was the best thing me and hubby could do. I told myself that I would breastfeed until she could talk to say if she was in pain, or at least start to wean when she could talk properly. Even if it means, she would be extra clingy for a bit longer.
We are still co-sleeping her, only for another few months I hope, so she's got easy access to her milk at night. Meaning, it has been a long, too long a time that I haven't had decent straight sleep. Just the same as the fact that I haven't had a proper glass of wine in ages! Probably over two years now! (count including pregnancy). The most I have had would be ten sips of wine (but not while preggo, and not in her first six months)... Books/Research say it's okay to have a glass of alcohol, right after feeding, but I always wanted to just play it safe. There are days (or nights!) when I feel I want to indulge in a couple of glasses, but I've managed to be good and sleep it off. I can delay the gratification with the anticipation that I will have half a bottle one day when we have weaned.
A good habit/outcome to still feeding this long means that I have been trying to eat healthy for this long now. Early on, I would be mindful of eating too much peanut butter, milk, etc. As I noticed she was having runny poos then. Nowadays I am not as careful, as her digestive system is a bit more mature now. Though, I still try to eat lots of greens, and drink lots of liquid. I never really developed the habit of eating malunggay capsules as I found my sister was intolerant of it, so I may also be. I found that I still managed to keep my milk supply up - perhaps, it's the great demand that kept it up!
I talk about weaning, with the reference to little B, but actually a lot of the weaning is also on my part. Believe it or not, I have started to feel sad sometimes with the thought of stopping our special bonding. I've even resorted to capturing a few snaps of our silent moments, just the two of us, in our weird feeding positions! Haha.
Sometimes, the thought of feeding another child, our second child when that happens... comes to mind.. whether I am able to feed as long, or whether I will have the same patience for it when the time comes. Feeding for 15 months has not been all easy - taxing on my body, my patience at times. Not that I don't enjoy it, because I do. But just like anyone we have 'trying' days, when she would bite me every time, when she would whinge and demand that I carry and feed her while doing my chores. Sometimes even, I have to multi task so much that I end up with a really painful back. Sacrifice and love. At the end of it all, prevails.