You think you like it?

Sometimes we have gotten so used to something
that we make ourselves believe we still like it.
Even when we no longer do.
We still continue to take one bite after another,
because the taste is so familiar.
Even when each bite brings us closer to.. nothing.
Meaningless chewing.

Photo from http://girlyinspiration.com/a-slice-of-indulgent-chocolate-cake/

Sometimes we aspire and want something for so long that we create an idea in our mind
An idea sans imperfection and at the same time away from reality.

Sometimes we create a bubble of a big idea
that we (think) we know, completely,
Only to hold onto that bubble which ...really exists.
It exists in our mind, in our memory,
of something that once was, but no longer is.
Or of something which always just existed,
in that corner of our mind
far and protected from everything else.
And by everything else, I mean far from truth (and reality).

Just a random feeling I put into words as I was eating a big cake slice. Which I eventually just threw in the bin, because continuing to eat it was pointless. It didn't satisfy my craving, my hunger and I couldn't really taste it anymore. Maybe it was too big a piece? Maybe it wasn't baked to my liking? I know for a fact I am a chocoholic and so I tried to understand why I couldn't finish my chocolate cake slice. Sorry baker, it's nothing personal....

Oh Diego!

Instead of doing the million things that I must do, I chose to google Diego Bunuel. One of my most recent gorgeous crushness. It has been a very, very long time since I've had one - And I don't blame it on having too much time on my hands because I don't have any! I rarely watch TV and if I do it is most likely when Masterchef is on, or National Geo Adventure's Don't tell my mother - which Diego hosts. I only came across his  series this year (oh, better late than never!!) and instantly fell in luuuve. Must be the charm behind his attractive eloquence. Or the eyes that talk much more - offering an ever friendly gaze to the person he exchanges words with, either in French, Spanish or English. *Sigh* more pogi points to add onto his boyish charm. His series take you to (dangerous) road less travelled cities of the world, showcasing more than the usual landscapes and more into the lives of people in these places. Apparently he's graduated with a Journo degree from Northwestern Uni, well travelled journalist, and is French-Spanish-Mexican by descent and - currently married with kids! (Shame, shame, shame, if only... haha).

Enough of my drooling and onto other important things..

Photo from Google

Photo from Google

Judge Marie

When I first came to Australia over a decade ago occasionally I would come across Fil-Aussies (first degree or second degree migrants) who have not been back (or in case of second degree teen migrants who have never been to MNL) to Manila for many years. I would secretly always be judging them even without knowing the reason/s behind not being back home that long. I was Judge Marie back then.

Here I am now, in their shoes - shoes of those whom I used to judge. I am Marie, and last time I was back in Manila was January 2011. Three long years ago. I have my own reasons for not being back in that long period. I know I wanted so very bad to go. Every year slipped by unknowingly. I know in that time frame no week has passed without the thought of me missing home. But yes it has been that long since my last.

We all have our stories to tell. Our reasons for being, for not doing, or for staying. Somehow it took me so long to understand the awkward answer to the question I used to pose to someone else "why they haven't gone "home" for so long?" Surely it is not a simple question, and the answer is various beyond words.

Photo Credit: http://www.imd.org/network/corporate-learning/#/business-associates-members/

Our lives are full of waiting room moments

From care2.com

Time stops for those who are waiting, and I am part of this exclusive club. For now. Until when I no longer have to wait (again).

Good news, bad news. Really, sometimes the result does not matter as much as the agony of uncertainty. Of course, though, good news is always welcomed with both arms open wide. While bad news is shoved to the back. And then the first step forward hurriedly taken.

Different phases in life when we are taken for a ride in that waiting wagon:

> As a toddler, our parents waited for us to roll over on our own for the first time, parents waited to capture that first step. Parents, in general, do a lot of waiting to witness 'first' milestones in their children's lives.

> As a pre-teen, we wait and wait to grow up. Wait until we finish primary school, high school. Waiting to enter university and have that bit of freedom. At school, we wait for summer breaks. Parents' promise of overseas travel, or local beach breaks. Or, we could be waiting to go back to school and see our friends again.

> Just before finishing school, we wait for exam results to see which uni we are starting our 'young adulthood' journey. We wait for the first day we start uni in normal clothes, without having to wear that checkered high school uniform.

> At uni, we are always waiting obsessively for grades to come out after exams and assessments. We are waiting for long and boring lectures to end. We are waiting and counting down the minutes until we see our bf/gf again.

> After finishing our degree, we wait and hope to hear back from 'that' dream company we always wanted to be part of. Finally, landing that dream job, we wait for holiday breaks to just get away from work and unwind.

> Going on a trip? Are we there yet? And we've only just left the house.. It is a wait to get to the destination. A 20 hour plane trip, then a couple of hours car ride to the jetty, oh and a ferry across the lake for half an hour. Finally reaching the island destination, only to catch a 15 minute rickshaw ride to your hideaway for the week?! Must be all worth it!

> Soon after getting serious with our bf, we wait for the moment he will propose. Upon getting engaged, it is the wait for THE wedding day. It can be a quick wait, as with short month long engagements...or an arduous 3 year wait for the BIG date.

> And then of course, waiting to take a pregnancy test when you are trying for a baby is another patience testing pressure point. How many pregnancy tests did you take only to get a big fat Negative??!

Our lives are full of waiting room moments. If we are lucky enough, we can have good lifelong friends waiting with us in that room. Lots of interesting conversations happen while waiting. A lot of virtues can be honed while patiently waiting. They say character is formed at these times. One undergoes a series of cycles, stages.....

First hour waiting.... Still giddy and excited. Still chatting away with your buddy.

Six hours pass..... Shuffling in your seat, bored, anxious, frustrated, tired. Keeping quiet.

Nine hours pass.... Still sitting in the same spot, tipping point, eyes rolling, numerous sighs, snapping at your seatmate. Suddenly everything and everyone is annoying.

Twelve hours pass... You are feeling excited again because you can see signs to your destination now 100 kms left.

Finally, you have arrived your destination. Bliss. No looking back at the long way here. Just soak up the joy. Worth every wait. Hmm....

2014!!!

New beginnings
Great starts
Hopeful thoughts
Wishful hearts

So much to look forward to this year. I am not making resolutions. I guess everyday life is a chance to be a better person. However, a new year gives that extra boost to become nicer, kinder, happier, more ambitious, more creative, more involved, more loving, more helpful, more caring, more conscientious... just more in general.

Wishing the world and everyone in it a better 2014!! Better in every aspect :) I think everyone deserves it after a very trying 2013. Cheeeeeers to a brand new chapter!!

From Tourchief.com

Come Home

I really hope this is it! Hubby has finally agreed to go home. Next month!! Yipee!! After 3 long years! (4 years for hubby).

There are so many reasons why I am even more excited for this trip home than the last (eons ago):

> Little girl will be 4 years old - She can now appreciate family time. She would have a B-L-A-S-T with her cousins (as they are all nearly the same age!).

>Quality time with grandparents/our parents. Our Parents are getting older and they long to spend time with us, as much as us with them. Little B is the most excited of all! We have been Skype-ing with my family very often lately. And this is as requested by my daughter. The bubbly up and down jumping when video of grandparents load -- is absolutely priceless!!!! (My heart melts).

>It's been too long since our small family has had a proper vacation. I don't even remember the last one. Must have been 4 years ago. That. Long. Ago. Although we are on a tighter budget this time around, I am still thankful for the opportunity. Surely the best things in life are still free - or cheap, maybe?

>Food trip!! Family escapades. Memory lane!! Hubby and I have been reminiscing about the stuff we love and miss about home. The last time all three of us were in Manila, it was a very short 7 days with hubby. and about 15 days for me and little girl. We were back in Sydney in a blink. Tagaytay overnight is number one on our agenda. Chill.

>For me, I am wanting some sister time. I miss my little sister so much. She's taken my throne as the big sister, and has been through a lot of pressure the past years. I just want to hang out at the roof top, with our coffees and endless stories. But of course that might not happen - since we both have kids now. Her with 2 toddlers in tow. We might move our usual venue.. to the play room! Much looking forward to it nonetheless!

>I can write a million reasons to go home, be excited. The past 1.5 years has been really hectic, tiring, crazy, highly pressurised. I am sure this will be a highlight for the year 2014. I am even wanting to skip Christmas and New Year's eve.... just so we can hop on a plane and jet off!!!!!!

Photo Credit: http://en.paperblog.com/jump-for-joy-426838/

Life as Parents - Stage one

Silent movies exist - Yes, they still exist. A lot of them. Avatar. Wolverine. Superman 2. The Vow. Dear John. The Lucky One. Green Hornet. Avengers. Fast and Furious. Skyfall. Life of Pi. And the list goes on. Sneaking a movie or two after lights are out can be tricky, especially if it is a LOUD film or a crude one, or.... Either way it must be subtitled! These are hubby and wifey movie dates now. Silent mode!

Spelling game - When you want something... c-h-o-c-o-l-a-t-e I have to spell them out or else the little one will want to have one too. (Trying to be good parents avoiding sugar - yah right!). Or, when we want to keep the story amongst adults about the c-r-a-p-p-y item we bought.. It's easier to spell it out than explain what it means to a 3 year old. We know sooner than later we are not able to use this method - as the little one is learning to spell and read. Give or take six more months?!

Privacy is non-existent / Endless questioning - Going to the toilet alone? I am dreaming. One minute out of her (little one) sight she is looking for me and asking where I am and what I am doing. And if I choose to keep quiet, I know she will come running looking for me. And all I wanted was five minutes of peace and silence.

Conjugal what?? - The owner of the masters bed is... the little girl. Daddy is kicked out, to squat in the other bedroom or the couch. While the little senyorita dominates the masters bedroom. If it's not enough that the "big" bed is hers --her little bed is adjacent to the big bed. And she gets to keep both. No space for mum and dad here. Right! (Ok, mum is commissioned to sleep with the little girl - poor daddy!)

House is a big play area - Toys everywhere. Books everywhere. Tiny and big crafts everywhere. Lounge room, bedroom, dining, kitchen.. it doesn't matter how many times a day the house gets cleaned. Somehow the toys belong to Toy Story and they all magically come alive and head back to where they don't belong.

Busy social life is theirs - Pre-school party on Sunday, ballet class on Saturday morning, park playdate on Saturday afternoon, Thursday is library storytime, oh and of course, Monday and Tuesday are pre-school days .. seems like a lot of activities involve the little one. They are too little to bring themselves to their activities and as parents obviously we 'signed them up' for these classes and activities. We would like for our kids' social circle to grow - and this is all part of that bigger plan.

I am not complaining (not now! hehe).The whole world revolves around the little commander, but as parents we are quite happy to take a back seat and watch her grow, hear her express herself, realise her dreams, develop skills and learn about the world. Obviously we are still there to guide her and make sure she learns her manners and blossom into a polite and obedient child. There are some adjustments though that we have made (temporarily - until we are past this pre-school stage, I'd say.) in order to accommodate the little one growing into our family lives. Soon, all this 'new excitement' and 'bending over' will end. The little girl will transform into a little adult, and surely hubby and I will adjust to 'being a couple' again and our parenting skills will evolve to accommodate a teenager, and eventually a mature adult child. Exciting stages we go through and will continue to grow through as parents. For now, this is where we are as parents at Stage One. Soon, we will enter Stage Two and it will be a different ballgame altogether. I don't know when that will be or what I have signed up for. Hopefully it will be a breeze.

I am now thinking of ordering this book Loaded Questions! I'm sure it will be an interesting read. I should read it with hubby of course!

Also, I've just subscribed to this mummy site. I must get useful parenting tips!

Yes Philippines Digital

I am such a showbiz chismis lover! And of course it has been ages since I've indulged in unadulterated showbiz scoop... so last month I subscribed to Yes Philippine Digital - through Philippine Entertainment Portal's website! The last time I subscribed was back in 2009. Oh simple pleasures in life. I guess it makes me forget reality for a little while and focus on the various articles available. My favourite reads are about featured celebrity homes. Taking a peek into the private lives of the celebrities can give one an insight to what they are like in real life - their taste, their personality and their guilty indulgences!

When I subscribed they didn't have the half price promotion (through Zinio) so I paid full price at $24.99. I wish I waited a little bit longer! But oh well, maybe next time I will catch a promo offer when I renew my subscription.

Off to read the goss now! December issue of YES is up!

 

Memory = Sum Numba (a.ka. Some number!)

My life revolves around numbers and letters and symbols.. on a daily basis! Of course I am talking about passwords to everything and anything, as well as other trivial stuff!

A million password matches all jumbled up in my head. Tax file numbers, birthdates, ages, dates to remember. One thing is for sure though, I know my credit card numbers (expiry and validation codes) by heart (x 2) (yep, x 2 cards). I am therefore forever being tempted to purchase something in an instant. And no excuses not wanting to get up and get the card from the wallet.... hmm. Bad, bad, bad. Must erase this from my memory.

Sometimes I find myself having too good a memory for my own good. I have a photographic memory to add, which has only gotten slightly (??) worse with pregnancy and childbirth.

I am now on a hunt for games and activities to sharpen my memory!!

Photo from http://www.learning-mind.com/secret-of-sharp-memory-revealed/

Nerdies at heart

Me and hubby are secretly nerdies at heart. At home during our down time we watch David Attenborough's specials on animals, nature, planet factoids. Sometimes we just watch any other documentary (we previously recorded) about the beginnings of life on Earth, planets and space. Other times we watch about docus on modern life, modern infrastructure and buildings, evolution of human life, other species, human culture and behaviour. Sometimes we watch about current events or special shows on refugees, immigration, travel and discovery.

This is one way hubby and I bond - over documentaries that interest us both. We find ourselves engrossed intellectually - discussing 'quietly' or as we watch along. Sometimes we are 'too relaxed' while watching and end up snoozing side by side, only to restart the show the next day.

(okay, occasionally when we are homesick we do bond over cheesy Filipino flicks or Filipino drama)

I really should share some of the interesting stories featured in some of the shows we watch... Hmm...

In the meantime, we are in search for a tv series to watch... Last time we dutifully followed a series was back in the day of "Lost" and Heroes" (oh and my Gossip Girl days).



From zazzle.com.au

Hey Hotel

Sometimes I would love to be able to comment on how tacky some hotels design their rooms and public spaces. If only I could refer them to check out Hotel Supply Online then perhaps some of their decors can be updated and maybe even get their Hotel Bar Supplies up to date. Really there should be enough choices that the Atlanta Hotel Supply can get access to. I remember visiting this one particular hotel in the Sydney CBD which got the room decor and furniture perfectly, however looked like it did not invest in great furniture for the lobby. It spoiled the whole experience for me. In my opinion hotel management should invest in the different areas of the hotel equally. Just because guests don’t sleep in the lobby does not mean it could have an ambience of a hospital!